You know what’s NOT a great idea? Putting dinosaurs in a Transformer movie. But why, you ask, do dinosaurs show up in a Transformer’s move? Probably because someone was sitting in a meeting, looking at the script and said…”I dunno, something is missing…”

It’s not the dinosaurs. It’s the fact that yes, even on page 98 of the script, we still don’t really care about the main characters.

Yes, I’m talking about Transformers 4: Age of Extinction. Sure, I WANT to care about cute Mark Wahlberg (and frankly, still do, because I’m deeply concerned this movie is going to hurt his career. Mark, call me if you ever decide to do another movie with dinosaurs in it. Especially if it does not have the words, Jurassic Park anywhere in the titles.) And, I want to care about his daughter (aka, the long drink of water, Megan-Fox stand in, eye candy), but frankly, the most emotional dimension we get from her is a plump-limped, disbelieving look (really? there are transformers in my backyard?) on her close-uped face.

And don’t even get me started on Shane, the boyfriend – or rather, “Driver” (he’s introduced as a “driver” early in the movie – and that’s what he does the entire movie. Drives. Except, what kind of driver is he? Milk Truck Driver? Ice-road trucker? Go-cart? He is driving a souped up Aveo at the beginning so I’m leaning toward that one. But, Im still trying to figure that out.) I hated Shane from the moment he pulled out his “Romeo and Juliet” license to date Mark (aka. Cade’s) hot daughter. (since he was 20 and she was still – yeah, right – 17). I’m using the word “date” loosely.

If Mark truly wanted to make me care, he would have put one of those meaty fists into Shane’s beautiful, Irish-speaking face. (He’s from Texas, so the Irish accent TOTALLY makes sense.)

But, I’m veering away from the point. Which is – if you don’t want people to fall asleep while your dinosaurs are fighting machine-aliens in Beijing, you have to make your characters LIKEABLE and if not that, at least SYMPATHETIC.

Again, it starts with a wide-angle look at the story. Let’s go back to Transformers 4 for a few more moments of pain.