Saggy Scene Solutions: 4 Ways to Make Your Reader Care

You know what’s NOT a great idea? Putting dinosaurs in a Transformer movie. But why, you ask, do dinosaurs show up in a Transformer’s move? Probably because someone was sitting in a meeting, looking at the script and said…”I dunno, something is missing…”

It’s not the dinosaurs. It’s the fact that yes, even on page 98 of the script, we still don’t really care about the main characters.

Yes, I’m talking about Transformers 4: Age of Extinction. Sure, I WANT to care about cute Mark Wahlberg (and frankly, still do, because I’m deeply concerned this movie is going to hurt his career. Mark, call me if you ever decide to do another movie with dinosaurs in it. Especially if it does not have the words, Jurassic Park anywhere in the titles.) And, I want to care about his daughter (aka, the long drink of water, Megan-Fox stand in, eye candy), but frankly, the most emotional dimension we get from her is a plump-lipped, disbelieving look (really? there are transformers in my backyard?) on her close-upped face.

And don’t even get me started on Shane, the boyfriend – or rather, “Driver” (he’s introduced as a “driver” early in the movie – and that’s what he does the entire movie. Drives. Except, what kind of driver is he? Milk Truck Driver? Ice-road trucker? Go-cart? He is driving a souped up Aveo at the beginning so I’m leaning toward the Go Cart option. But, Im still trying to figure that out.) I hated Shane from the moment he pulled out his “Romeo and Juliet” license to date Mark’s (aka. Cade’s) hot daughter. (since he was 20 and she was still – yeah, right – 17). I’m using the word “date” loosely. Later, he says, I’m here to rescue my girlfriend, not your daughter. Huh? But way to win points with daddy.

If Mark truly wanted to make me care, he would have put one of those meaty fists into Shane’s beautiful, Irish-speaking face. (He’s from Texas, so the Irish accent TOTALLY makes sense.)

But, I’m veering away from the point. Which is – if you don’t want people to fall asleep while your dinosaurs are fighting machine-aliens in Beijing, you have to make your characters LIKEABLE and if not that, at least SYMPATHETIC.

Again, it starts with a wide-angle look at the story. Let’s go back to Transformers 4 for a few more moments of pain.

Cade (Mark) is an out-of-work inventor/widower who has raised his daughter by “fixing” and “inventing” things in his massive garage. He lives in a beautiful old farmhouse and for all his desire to provide for his daughter, she looks as him as a screw up. Frankly, I found Cade slightly sympathetic as he desperately wants to care for his daughter. In fact, he’s so protective of her that he forbids her to date until after she graduates. Remember that part.

Then there’s Tessa. Leggy, with Band-Aid shorts and full pouty lips, her first words on the screen are, “Hey girls, only a week left of school and then we have the whole summer to get WASTED!” Yeah, I liked her immediately. She has been turned down for financial aid (which makes no sense if you think about it) and when her father arrives home with an old Semi to fix (yes, foreshadowing, if you know the movies), she is angry at him for not getting a “real job.” When they discover the secret of the semi, she wants to turn it in for the reward that is out on all transformers. (Betrayal makes for fantastic sympathy building.)

Never fear because the FBI do show up, except, sadly, they left the reward check behind and now they’re hunting down the semi, Cade, Tessa and another player who dies early enough for us not to care that we don’t care. They run from the burning barn – and jump into a car that suddenly appears in their field.

Meet the Driver.

This is the part where Cade discovers that his daughter has pretty much ignored EVERYTHING he’s asked of her, and instead has been “dating” this fella Shane since she was 15 (and he was 17, I guess). Shane then pulls his “Don’t worry big fella, I have a license to date your daughter,” card.

See, right then if Cade had taken him out, I would have loved him for the rest of the move. But, alas, he is nicer than me, and that’s when I wanted to walk out. Because I just didn’t CARE.

Now, I know that the entire movie is about the possible annihilation of the human race, and yes, that is something I should probably care about. But it’s all about the CHARACTERS. If they aren’t sympathetic, then don’t bother holding my seat while I run out for popcorn, and maybe slip into a different movie.

So, Step One: Make us CARE about the characters from the first page.

Here’s some tips:

Put your character in an everyday situation we might all find ourselves in. Stuck in traffic with your boss, late for a presentation. Kids fighting in the back seat. The chaos of packing for vacation. Kids running by your blanket at the beach and kicking sand into your book. Whatever. We need to relate to your character through everyday moments.

Give your character and undeserved misfortune. A few of the above examples portray this, but others might be a flat tire. Coffee spilled on their new shirt. A boyfriend breaking up with them. Undeserved misfortune always grabs a piece of our heart.

Make your character quirky – in a cool way. There’s nerdy, there’s OCD, and there’s QUIRKY. Quirky is to accentuate their good, or even sweetly peculiar qualities in a way that makes us like them. Take Doc Brown in Back to the Future. Our first meeting of him is him wearing his crazy goggles. Or Russell, the ardent boy scout in UP, who is so enthusiastic about doing a good deed, he ends up on the adventure with Carl. I used this technique in my PJ Sugar series – dressing PJ in a hotdog costume just about the time she needs to apprehend a bail jumper. What about your character is endearingly quirky? Use that to bond them to the audience.

Add in a Boyscout Moment. You know this moment – it’s the moment your hero proves he’s a great guy, even if we haven’t seen it by doing something nice at the beginning of the story. Gets the neighbor’s paper, opens the door for coworkers, buys coffee for a friend – something small but chivalrous that proves his good heart.

Now, here’s the Saggy Scene Application.

Step Two: Make us root for your character in every scene by making him sympathetic!

Sure, we can start a book with a great character, but sometimes people turn nasty in the middle of stress – which is what your character is under. We’ll forgive him for snapping at the girl, or refusing to help someone if we like him, overall, and realize it’s for a good reason. That means setting up the story right, and then asking, before every scene:

Does my reader understand why my character is doing this? Is my reader rooting for him?

You might need to create more sympathy. Take a look at your scene.

Is your character in a relatable situation?

Can you give him some undeserved misfortune?

How about reviving his quirky side?

Mabye, simply, add in a boyscout moment.

Most of all, at the beginning of every scene, ask: Does my reader like my character enough to root for his/her success, even if they make a bad decision in this scene?

Instead of watching Transformers 4 (well, you can watch it if you want – there ARE dinosaurs, after all), I encourage you to pick up The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Walter Mitty is an unappreciated negative assets manager at Life Magazine who’s always wanted to live a life of adventure. And he does – in his mind. He is immediately sympathetic because although he lives a “boring” life, he often daydreams (and this is the quirky part) of him saving the day. To the point that others have noticed and think he’s weird. Add to that, in the beginning, he has coffee spilled on him, a little undeserved misfortune, and his sister has baked him a pineapple upside down cake for his birthday, which he brings into the office to share.

Lots of likeability.

As the movie plays out, he continues his quirky, misfortunate, boy scout moments, from helping his mother move, adding his profile to an online dating site, travelling to Iceland (or maybe it was Greenland), jumping into shark-infested waters, and the list continues. In the end, it’s because he is so likeable that he saves the day. And, although the adventure is a little unbelievable, despite being exiting (even without dinosaurs!) we stay with him. Because, we wish we were him. Or at least, wish we were his friend.

But don’t ever put me in the same car as the Driver. I’d rather be riding a dinosaur bareback, clutching the sword of my ancestors, off to save the world. Or maybe just Mark Wahlberg. Hop on Mark, let’s find you a different movie.

Saggy Scene Solution: Make sure we like your character enough to root for him.

Go! Write something Brilliant!

Susie May