by Rebecca Yauger, @RebeccaYauger
I received a rejection today. And it stings. A lot.
We all know this writing business isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s tough. Not everyone will be successful. You can sympathize with your friends when they receive a rejection, or low contest scores. You can give them a pep talk and do your best to motivate them to keep going. But when the rejection happens to you, it’s an entirely different feeling.
I know that they weren’t rejecting me as a person. I know that writing is subjective and not everyone will like my work. I hope that there is a right agent or perfect publisher for me out there…somewhere. I can KNOW all of this, but right here in this moment, my heart is winning the war with my brain. I hurt. I want to cry. I want to throw in the towel. I start to question if I’m any good at writing at all. I bet I’m not alone in feeling this way. So how do we move past the pain of rejection?
- Give yourself time. You need to take the time to grieve this hurt, this rejection. I’m giving myself 24 hours to pout, then I’m moving on. Hopefully it won’t take that long.
- Put Contest Scores Aside. If you entered a contest and received your scores that weren’t high enough to push you to the next round, look at your scores, then put them aside. Go back to suggestion #1 and give yourself time. You can put them aside for a week or two, then when your brain is back in control over your heart, look at the scores and the comments and see what works best to implement into your manuscript and go from there.
- Have an attitude of learning. Stay open. Learn from the comments, learn from the feedback. Remember, that feedback is given to make your manuscript stronger. If there’s a comment that doesn’t make sense for your book, ignore it. But be open to suggestions. You want your book to be the best it can be.
- Celebrate another’s victory. This one can be hard, especially if you didn’t make the next round of a contest and your friend did. Or they just signed a contract, and you received a rejection letter. However, turning your attention outward instead of inward can bring you one step closer to healing your own heart. It might even motivate you. If they can do it, you can, too! Who knows, your turn might be next.
- Trust God. He has a plan. Most of us are familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, as it is quoted often:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (NIV).
But I like verses 12 and 13 that come right after:
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (NIV).
God hears our prayers of praise and of pain. But when I continually seek God, I will find the God of comfort, and hope, and one who listens. I will continue to seek him and his plans for me, even when I hurt.
Rejection is hard. It hurts. Acknowledge your hurt, then turn that rejection into motivation. Keep working, keep learning, and doing your best work. Who knows, today’s rejection might be tomorrow’s celebration.
Rebecca Yauger is a writer and blogger who writes about real friendship and relationships, and all the ties that bond us. She’s been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Guideposts Magazine. She is a three-time cancer survivor and church life group leader. Rebecca grew up in a military family, and now after living all over the world, she makes her home near Dallas. She is married to her high school sweetheart and is a proud mother and grandmother. Visit her at www.RebeccaYauger.com.