Learning to Set the Scene Without Bogging Down the Reader

Lindsay Harrel, @LindsayHarrel

As writers, we all have our strengths. 

Some of us excel at plotting, creating compelling action that drives the story forward. Others are amazing developers of characters that readers can relate to and love. Still others set the scene and are fabulous at giving description, making us feel like we are right there immersed in the story. 

Photo by Ian Mackey on Unsplash

When you read a book written by the authors with the strength of scene setting, often the setting itself becomes a character. There is something immersive about the experience. 

And that’s an experience we all need to learn how to give to our readers.

Now, if you’re a big reader of the classics—think Dickens, Hugo, Dostoevsky, et cetera—you’ll notice that they often set a scene with lots of backstory and pages and pages of descriptions. So before any action ever actually occurs, you’ve been inundated with all of these details. And for those of us who love the classics, that description is rich and beautiful and really adds something to the story. 

However, the reader of today is very different. Readers today want the action to begin almost immediately. They’ll often set aside a book if they aren’t captured and engrossed in a story after a few chapters—sometimes, even a few pages. 

Because let’s face it, there are a TON of books out there and we only have so much time in our days. Why waste time reading a book that doesn’t enthrall us? 

That makes your job as an author a bit more difficult, because you want to tell the best story possible, but you have to set the scene as you go. The reader has to get to know the character as the story unfolds. You can’t just drop a bunch of information in a reader’s lap all at once without something happening and the story moving forward at the same time. 

It can feel like a lot to juggle. Thankfully, there are some techniques to help ground your reader in a scene and still make forward progress. 

Pacing is everything

Sprinkle in details, backstory, and other information throughout your scene. We don’t have to know everything about a heroine’s past in the first scene, or even in the first chapter. Dropping little hints here and there help to not only keep the story flowing, but also to build intrigue in readers’ minds and keep them reading. 

Always address the Five W’s

I have a degree in journalism, so when I started writing novels, it kind of surprised me that some of that training would come into play. But it’s true. In a scene, you always want to reveal who, what, where, when, and why—again, not necessarily all at once, but at some point in the scene.

  • Who is there and whose head are we in?
  • What is happening? What happened just before and what is the character’s reaction to that? 
  • Where are we? Are we inside, outside, in a hot air balloon, on a boat, et cetera? What city, state, or country are we in? 
  • When is it happening? Is it day or night? Is it the week or weekend? What season are we in? You don’t always have to repeat some of this if the scene is happening right after another in the same time and place, but just be aware that the reader needs to know this information. 
  • Why are the characters doing what they’re doing? Why are they reacting the way they are? A lot of this can be answered with internal monologue or dialogue.

Remember, all of these 5 W’s must be in a scene, but again, you can sprinkle those details throughout. And some can be shown rather than told. 

For example, in my first novel One More Song to Sing, I wrote this: 

Olivia blew out a steadying breath and stepped from her car. Gnarled leaves crunched beneath her boots as she headed toward the front door of the café. A brilliant blue covered the sky, and the sun warmed her face despite the brisk autumn breeze. How could the whole world look so clean and fresh when hers was old and used up?

I don’t just say “It was autumn.” I set the scene as Olivia is walking. We feel and hear the leaves crunching and we see her wearing boots before I ever name the time of year when this scene is occurring. 

Use all of the senses

A lot of writers are great at describing what a character sees, but forget about what she smells, or hears, or touches, or feels physically. It’s good to maybe have a paragraph when we get to a new location in a scene or are starting a scene, but remember to keep the reader anchored in that scene by continuing to weave these sensory details throughout.

Try to put at least one of each type of detail in every scene, and pepper them throughout the scene. 

Use setting details to convey information about the characters. 

As an author, you can convey a POV character’s mood based on how you describe and set the scene. 

For example, if a character describes a brightly painted yellow room as “lovely” or you show how it reminds her of a room in her childhood home, where we know she always felt safe, then it shows us the character is in a cheerful or nostalgic mood without saying “it made her feel nostalgic” or “she was cheerful.”

But if you want to show the character is in a bad or sad mood, you could make your character ticked off by the brightness of that same room. The character might wonder how everyone else could be so happy when her life seems to be falling apart. 

One thing to remember about any detail you offer is to not waste words. Everything you say should have some sort of significance. 

Use metaphor to help set your scene

A major part of any scene is how your character is responding to what’s around him and what’s happening to him. I love using metaphors to convey this without outright saying it. 

Here in an example from my first novel, One More Song to Sing:

My boots crunch the snow coating the ground as I head for the car, the music hall forever behind me. And then, in my direct path, a tiny pink flower peeks out from the white covering. How has it survived the harsh winter?

Mama wobbles past me. Her heel slams down on the flower, smashing it back into the snow.

Use personification to help make your setting another character

When you read Jane Eyre, Thornfield Hall almost becomes a secondary character. The same is true of the city of London in several of Charles Dickens’ novels. Personification gives animal or human qualities to inanimate objects or places. It makes them feel alive and charges the setting with a new excitement. 

Here’s an example of how I used personification to make the ocean a character in The Secrets of Paper and Ink:

The ocean rose and fell in the distance. Even though it smacked against the rocks every time it came ashore, it managed to get up the courage to come back. To give and take another thrashing.

Hopefully implementing these practical strategies will help you keep your readers more interested and anchored in every scene you write.

 


Like a Christmas Dream

“Follow your dreams” is not her family’s motto.

But this Christmas, Sarah’s doing the unthinkable—defying her wealthy parents.

Instead of fulfilling expected holiday obligations, she visits a quaint English village to help her estranged sister open her dream bakery. And yes, Sarah fully expects things to be awkward between them.

What she doesn’t expect?

Michael Hammett.

The charming British photographer challenges her perspective in more ways than one. Maybe, just maybe, she can choose a life outside of her parents’ control.

But when her father threatens the thing Sarah cares about most, will her newfound perspective be enough—or will living life on her own terms always be a distant dream?

Lindsay Harrel is a lifelong book nerd who lives in Arizona with her young family and two golden retrievers in serious need of training. She’s held a variety of writing and editing jobs over the years, and now juggles stay-at-home mommyhood with writing novels. Her debut novel, One More Song to Sing, was a finalist in the 2017 ACFW Carol Awards. When she’s not writing or chasing after her children, Lindsay enjoys making a fool of herself at Zumba, curling up with anything by Jane Austen, and savoring sour candy one piece at a time.  Connect with her at http://www.LindsayHarrel.com or on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

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