by Lisa Jordan, @lisajordan
I get it. I do. That prickle of insecurity under your skin that slithers through your body, threatening to coil around your heart and choke you.
Maybe you’ve been writing for a decade and your friend, who picked up the pen a year ago, has a contract before you. Or perhaps you’re on your fifteenth novel and a peer’s fifth novel is being turned into a movie. That award you’ve posted on your Dream Big list feels so out of reach when it feels like your friends continue to win awards hand over fist.
Or maybe it’s not writing related at all—perhaps your marriage has been rocky for a while or your friend’s children’s achievements make you feel like your own children will never measure up.
Here’s some hard truth—your thoughts are a choice. If you’re thinking that you’re less than someone else, then you’re choosing to think that way.
Now stop. But how?
I love this Sylvia Plath quote, “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
Let’s face it—feeling less than can cripple relationships and steal our joy. So how do we stop it?
- Pray about it. Giving those insecurities up to God will replace those fears with courage.
- Fight sadness with joy. Two friends were up for a major writing award. One attended the ceremony but the other did not. When my friend, who did not attend, won in her category, the other friend, who had attended, received the award on her behalf and chose joy, giving a heartfelt acceptance speech on her friend’s behalf.
- Get to the root. Every year, weeds take over our flowerbeds. With fertile, well-watered soil, those weeds will thrive, burrowing deep roots that require the strength of Hercules to remove. Like those weeds, feelings of less than can take root and threaten our thriving qualities. When you’re feeling that way, take time to reflect why you’re struggling with such negativity and then take steps to weed those insecure thoughts out of your mind.
- Focus on yourself. It’s so easy to fall into a comparison trap. If you want more out of your life, your marriage, your family, your career, then make it happen. Begin with small positive changes and do the work to build up those areas of your life that seem to be lacking.
- Respond with joy. Celebrating with others and responding with joy will change your perspective from the inside out.
- Practice contentment. Take time daily to focus on the blessings in your own life and be grateful. Be happy with what and who you have in your life.
Remember, you’re seeing only what another person chooses to project. That writer who is winning many awards may be walking rocky roads in other areas of his or her life. Or that seemingly perfect marriage may be facing a severe sense of loss that has drawn them closer. Stop comparing yourself to others, who have their own faults and insecurities, and focus on your own achievements and daily blessings. When you’re filling your brain with positivity, there’s less room for negative thinking…and more time to being creative with the talents God has given you.
His dreams can all come true…but only if his ex-wife will agree!
Jake Holland’s peaceful dairy farm is a sanctuary—one he wants to share with other worn and weary veterans. He just needs one more piece of land to start his program…and it belongs to Tori Lerner, his ex-wife. A collaboration could benefit them both, but with a past full of secrets between them, is there any hope for renewed love?
Heart, home, and faith have always been important to Lisa Jordan, so writing stories with those elements come naturally. Represented by Rachelle Gardner of Books & Such Literary Management, Lisa is an award-winning author for Love Inspired, writing contemporary Christian romances that promise hope and happily ever after. Her latest book, Season of Hope, released in March 2019. She is the Operations Manager for Novel.Academy, powered by My Book Therapy. Happily married to her own real-life hero for thirty years, Lisa and her husband have two grown sons. When she isn’t writing, Lisa enjoys family time, kayaking, good books, and being creative. Visit her at lisajordanbooks.com.