A Lady’s Guide to Writing Swoon-Worthy Kiss Scenes

by Jessica Kate, @jessicakate05

Writing kisses—some of us love it, some of us can’t stop giggling, and some of us squirm. 

But all of us want to deliver a powerful emotional experience for the reader that will stay with them long after they’ve closed the book. So here my #1 guiding principle that takes a kiss scene from ‘that was nice’ to ‘I MUST TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS!’:

Emotion is everything.

A kiss scene’s power comes from the emotional connection between the two characters—not the physical descriptions. That’s why even non-kiss scenes get gushed over—like the one where Mr. Darcy takes Lizzie’s hand to help her into the carriage. 

So, without further ado, here are three tips to help increase the emotional charge in your kiss scenes:

  • History between the characters. It can be romantic history (The Notebook, Sweet Home Alabama, Jane the Virgin), conflict-ridden history (North and South, The Hating Game, Sweet Home Alabama) or friendship (New Girl, When Harry Met Sally, Emma, Anne of Green Gables and SWEET HOME ALABAMA!). 

The important thing is, that history had to include emotional intimacy. Ideally, these characters have, at some point, relied on one another. At the very least, they know one another better than most and have a strong (though sometimes begrudging) respect for one another.

  • The kiss is communicating a message. Some of the most interesting kiss scenes are the ones that represent a major shift for a character. Take Leap Year for example. For most of the movie, Amy Adam’s control-freak character has driven Matthew Goode’s laid-back character crazy. But in the previous scene, she opened up to him and told him about her unreliable father and the burden of responsibility she’s carried from a young age. He now understands her, respects her, and is coming to admire her. At this point in the movie, they’re pretending to be a couple (for reasons too complicated to explain here), and their hosts start cheering for them to kiss.

Up till this point, Matthew’s been none-to-careful with this annoying lady’s feelings. But now he gently takes her jaw and kisses her. It’s warm (he feels strongly about her) but also gentle and respectfully brief (he’s taking care of her in a way that previous men in her life never did). 

And on Amy’s part, up until this point, she’s never trusted Matthew. But now she trusts him enough to let him kiss her—and when he pulls back, she responds and kisses him again. Now she’s told him that maybe there’s more to her than the control freak, and maybe she cares more about him than she’s let on.

Different physical actions can communicate different messages:

  • Hand holding jaw = you are treasured (Leap Year)
  • Slow lean in = confident enough to build the anticipation slowly, and also giving the other person the chance to communicate their interest/disinterest (While You Were Sleeping)
  • 90/10 rule = same as above (Hitch)
  • Start with a kiss on the cheek = I-want-to-kiss-you-but-am-not-sure-how-it-will-go-so-I’ll-test-with-this-first OR I-want-to-kiss-you-and-you-want-to-kiss-me-but-I’m-too-chicken-to-just-go-for-it OR I-want-to-kiss-you-but-we-can-never-be-together.
  • Talking between kisses = Often indicates friendship and is usually funny (The Amazing Spiderman)
  • Smile during a kiss = Indicates friendship and emotional intimacy (I’ll sneak in a plug for my upcoming rom-com A Girl’s Guide to the Outback because I totally used that one in there!)

  • The more anticipation, the better. This is why almost-kisses are such a powerful tool. It’s also a great time for a character to remember a previous interaction in a new light. You can use some of the moves above (slow lean in, kiss on the cheek, etc.), to draw out the moment and keep the reader frantically turning pages.

When you combine as many of these elements as possible into a kiss, you pack one powerful emotional punch. Now your characters aren’t just kissing, they’re communicating and showing how much they mean to one another. This communication means so much more when it’s carrying the weight of history and has been preceded by a slow build-up. 

If you’d like to see these techniques in action, check out my short story The Kiss Dare, available free when you sign up for my newsletter at https://jessicakatewriting.com. The great thing is, if you’re someone who shies away from kiss scenes altogether, most of these principles can be applied to sizzling hand-holding scenes, or maybe even a smoking hot stroke of the cheek! 😉 

So let’s get out there and write some romance! <3 


Love and Other Mistakes

Jessica Kate’s hilarious, romantic debut novel proves that some mistakes—including love—are begging to be made again and again. Natalie Groves once had big dreams. But soon after her fiancé, Jeremy Walters, inexplicably broke off their engagement and left town, her father was diagnosed with cancer. Now tasked with keeping her family afloat, Natalie’s grand plans have evaporated . . . and God feels very far away. Fast-forward seven years, and Jeremy is back in Charlottesville with an infant son and years of regrets. When his niece, Lili, lands on his doorstep in need of a place to stay, Jeremy needs help—and fast. An internship opening finally presents Natalie a chance at her dream job, but she needs a second income to work around it—and the only offer available is Jeremy’s. They could be the solutions to one another’s problems, provided they don’t kill each other in the process. When they join forces, sparks fly. But they both know there’s a thin line between love and hate . . . and that love will turn out to be the best decision—or the biggest mistake—of all. “A stunning debut . . . This tale of love and redemption will stay with you long after you’ve closed the book. A must-read.” —Rachel Hauck, New York Times bestselling author of The Wedding Dress “Witty. Charming. Heartfelt. I could go on and on about Jessica Kate’s debut novel.” —Melissa Tagg, Carol Award-winning author of Now and Then and Always and the Walker Family series

Australian author Jessica Kate is obsessed with sassy romances. 

She packs her novels with love, hate, and everything in between—and then nerds out over her favorite books, movies and TV in the StoryNerds podcast. When she’s not writing or discussing fiction, she’s hunting the world for the greatest pasta in existence.

Her debut novel Love and Other Mistakes released July 2019, while A Girl’s Guide to the Outback hits shelves in January 2020.

Receive her sassy short The Kiss Dare FREE when you sign up for her newsletter at jessicakatewriting.com. 

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