by Tari Faris, @FarisTari
If you are a regular on this blog, then you may remember by series I started on self-care for writers. Never fear didn’t leave you hanging. I will cover the rest in my next few blogs.
Why is self-care so important for writers? Because if we want to continue to be able to write well into the future, we must set ourselves up for that now. Because as we pour out onto the page, we need to make sure we are being poured into body, mind, and soul. If we don’t burn out or physical ailments could hold us back.
When I am speaking of self-care, it is important to establish I am not speaking of escapes, indulgences, or pleasure seeking. There is nothing wrong with such things at the right time or place, but self-care isn’t kick back and relax time. Self-care is active, work, and it is intentional.
There are many aspects of self-care for an author but this year, I am going to focus on these five:
- Physical Self-care
- Emotional Self-care
- Psychological Self-care
- Spiritual Self-care
- Professional Self-care
So far, I have covered Physical Self-care and Emotional self-care. These are very important and if you haven’t read them, then I would encourage you to go back and read those first.
But today, I am digging into Psychological Self-care.
Psychological Self-Care focuses on a growth mindset, self-awareness, and sensory awareness. So, let’s dive in.
GROWTH MINDSET
This is opposed to a fixed mindset. How many times have you heard someone say, “It is just who I am,” or “Don’t expect them to change.” That is a fixed mindset, but it believes a person is fixed and unchangeable.
We do want people to celebrate and take pride in the uniqueness of each personality for those are gifts from God. But behaviors that are self-serving or destructive are not who God created us to be. We all start in our sinful nature but we aren’t supposed to just stay there. We are supposed to learn, grow, and encourage others to grow.
In the Bible, Christ calls us to the growth mindset in 2 Corinthians 3:18b which reads “[We] are being transformed into his image with ever increasing glory.” Also in Romans 12:2 it says, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Growth mindset is a biblical concept that if you have hung around the church you would be familiar with, but the challenge with this one isn’t the knowing we should but in how to make it happen. Most people don’t lack growth because they don’t see the value of it. They lack growth because they lack the know-how to get unstuck. Part of this struggle is that what keeps one person from growth does not affect another. There is no one size fits all motivation which leads us to . . .
SELF-AWARENESS
And if you don’t understand who you are, how can you transform into who you want to be? I will admit, this is why I love personality profiles: Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, DISC, 4 animals, 4 temperaments. Each one offers insight into why I do what I do, and what holds me back from future success.
How can this help my self-care? Well, if I know my enneagram 7’s has the tendency to avoid boredom and pain, then I can understand why keep failing at health plans and quiet time goals and how to move toward success. I thrive in variety so having an unchanging plan for these that looks the same every day – will set me up for failure. Instead, when I have a list of options to choose from to exercise that day or a list of ways, I can do my quiet time then I am more likely to keep moving forward day after day.
The key is being able to be honest with yourself, choosing to be self-aware, and knowing who you are. And with that knowledge push yourself to find balance, grace, and growth.
SENSORY-AWARENESS
This is more important than ever in history. We are living in a sensory-glutinous society. Take stock of how you are affected by sounds, sights, smells, tastes, and touches.
How do they feed you?
How do they deplete you?
How do they affect your mental state – they affect it more than we realize and being aware of it and beginning to manage it rather than letting it manage you is the first step of self care in this area.
Come back in November as I discuss spiritual and professional self-care.
Leah Williams is back in the quaint town of Heritage, Michigan, and ready to try again to make her business a success. But blank slates are hard to come by, and a piece of her past is waiting for her there. Heir to the Heritage Fruits company, Jonathan Kensington is the guy who not only made Leah’s past difficult, he also seems determined to complicate her present as well.
Jon is trying to prove to the Heritage Fruits board that he, not his manipulative uncle, should be running the business. The board insists Jon find a new owner for the building that will house Leah’s business. To avoid forcing a buyout of Leah’s part of the building, Jon strikes a compromise with Leah, and the two go into business together. With her vision and his know-how, it might work. And Leah might realize he’s loved her since high school. If only he didn’t keep on shooting himself in the foot by boxing her out of important decisions.
Sparks fly in this romantic story of two people who must learn to trust both each other and the one who called them to this journey.
Available now for preorder! And visit linktr.ee/tarifaris to sign up for preorder rewards!
Tari Faris has been writing fiction for fifteen years but has been creating fiction in her head as long as she can remember. She is represented by Wendy Lawton at Books & Such Literary Management and is a member of ACFW and My Book Therapy. She was the 2017 Genesis winner, 2016 Genesis finalist, and 2014 Genesis finalist. In addition to her writing, she also works for My Book Therapy as a special project manager and writes for LearnHowToWriteANovel.com . When she is not writing or working, she spends time with her amazing husband and kids. In her free time, she loves coffee, rockhounding with her husband and kids, and distracting herself from housework. You can connect with her at www.tarifaris.com