by Peter Leavell, @PeterLeavell
On September 11, 2001, the myth that men are less emotional than women was shattered. Neurologists and other specialists were stunned as men’s voices rose with a variety of feelings that swept through America. Do you remember how emotionally stable our grandfathers and great grandfathers could be? Despite the short bursts of temper, they seemed unflappable. But as the towers fell and jets slammed into the earth, men showed a wide array of emotions.
Since, men haven’t looked back. They’ve actively pursued understanding their emotions, and for good or bad, men are emoting more than ever. There’s one problem. Emotional intelligence in men is lacking
So, how do we write a man’s emotions in a novel?
—Overreaction. Many times, an action such as a dog pausing on a man’s lawn to spread scent is processed through the lawn’s survival and the man’s self image. Fight or flight kicks in, and boom, the reaction is far out of proportion to crime—he chases down the dog and owner to yell at him. The novel A Man Called Ove capitalizes on emotional disproportions.
—Love. Men react to the feeling of love in a few different ways, but the key is change. If the feeling is true love, he needs/wants to change to live up to the intense feeling inside. From combing his hair for the first time in his life all the way to ending his smoking habit, men usually make some attempt to be a better person. Why? Many times, he’s addicted to another person to the point she truly is the most beautiful person in the world—and many times, that never changes through marriage. While there are healthy and unhealthy forms of love, he may become guarded in his feelings. He may hide his feelings so he doesn’t get hurt, later creating misunderstanding. Angela Ruth Strong and others do a good job understanding this in their work.
—Protective. Whether love, lawn, or a t-shirt given to him when he was 12 and it’s time for a new one after 30 years of marriage, a man defends what he thinks is his. Louis L’amour, western writer, banked on this. From possessions to honor and good reputations, men fight to protect.
—Depression and other painful feelings. Many times, when a man opens up about his feelings, he senses he’s lost the respect of the person he shared with, and so he may avoid talking of his feelings altogether. Sometimes he would rather cover up bad feelings by using alcohol, drugs, or suicidal activities that lead to short bursts of adrenaline. Contemporary literary novels such as David Foster Wallace worked to capitalize on these feelings, but many of these novels don’t offer much hope.
—Not sure. Many men file their emotions into the following two categories: good and bad with a nuance that adjusts the feelings to pretty good and pretty bad. Emotional intelligence helps the process diversify. Your male character will be as emotionally challenged as a small child all the way to a pensive, brooding CEO who understands the full spectrum of his emotions.
Men intuitively know they are on an emotional journey, one of development that lacks maturity or grows in understanding. Your male characters in your work should be somewhere on the emotional spectrum as well.
Philip Anderson keeps his past close to the vest. Haunted by the murder of his parents as they traveled West in their covered wagon, his many unanswered questions about that night still torment him.
His only desire is to live quietly on his homestead and raise horses. He meets Anna, a beautiful young woman with secrets of her own. Falling in love was not part of his plan. Can Philip tell her how he feels before it’s too late?
With Anna a pawn in the corrupt schemes brewing in the nearby Dakota town, Philip is forced to become a reluctant gunslinger. Will Philip’s uncannily trained horses and unsurpassed sharpshooting skills help him free Anna and find out what really happened to his family in the wilderness?
Peter Leavell, a 2007/2020 graduate of Boise State University with a degree in history and a MA in English Literature, was the 2011 winner of Christian Writers Guild’s Operation First Novel contest, and 2013 Christian Retailing’s Best award for First-Time Author, along with multiple other awards. An author, blogger, teacher, ghostwriter, jogger, biker, husband and father, Peter and his family live in Boise, Idaho. Learn more about Peter’s books, research, and family adventures at www.peterleavell.com