by Jeanne Takenaka, @JeanneTakenaka
We writers will have to respond to criticism on our writing journey. Recently, I shared a post on my personal blog that swelled from the depths of my heart. The lessons within were borne of years of learning, humbling, and experiencing. Someone posted a critical comment about some of my content. The comment waited to be moderated and approved. And I left it there for a little while.
Honestly? My initial thought was to ignore it. The words chafed and stung because, at first read, they smacked to the ground my character and my integrity.
I sympathized with what the commenter said they’d experienced, which directly contradicted what I shared. I prayed for the person, because they had been deeply hurt in their experience.
And, I prayed for wisdom and humility to know how to best respond to that comment burning red in my comment box.
I discovered a few helps for responding to criticism:
- Understand different perspectives. I wrote from one distinct perspective filtered through my experiences and understanding of God’s word. This person read my words through the filter of the experiences which shaped their perspective. Sometimes, two people come at an issue with wildly different experiences and read very different things from neutral words written on a page.
- Remember we always have a choice in our response to those who criticize us. I don’t like confrontation. I’d rather avoid it than face it head on. However, God places us in situations where we must confront an issue, a situation, a difference of opinion. The question becomes how will we do this?
- Ask for help from someone with wisdom and experience who can offer solid guidance. I asked a friend with professional experience to read and guide my response to the commenter.
- Realize not everyone is going to resonate with what we write on blogs, in books, in magazine articles . . . and that’s okay. We mustn’t take it personally when others disagree with what we share.
- Evaluate criticism for validity. When the criticism holds validity, we can make changes in how we handle topics in the future. When not, then we figure out how to brush off the emotions evoked by critical words and move forward. Sometimes this takes time.
- Consider the other side. Many people love our words. Don’t focus so much on one negative comment that we ignore the many affirming comments.
As I considered my reply to this commenter, I brought my feelings and thoughts before the Lord. I considered my options. With heart racing, I composed my response. I didn’t want my sense of hurt to color my reply. I desired to offer a gracious answer to this person who still seemed to be hurting from their experience.
Though we may never know how our response to a criticism will be received, when we invite God into the process of our response (or choosing not to respond), we can trust that He will use our words in His perfect way and time.
Award-winning aspiring novelist, Jeanne Takenaka, writes contemporary inspirational fiction that tackles real-life issues with a heart to draw women closer to God and those around them. She lives near the mountains in Colorado with her amazing husband and two exuberant boy-men. She loves being God’s girl—always learning about His grace, hanging out with friends and enjoying a great cup of coffee. When she’s not writing you can find her with a camera in her hand, looking for #alittlebitofpretty in her days. You can connect with her on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.