The Writer’s Secret Weapon Against Insecurity

by Bethany Turner, @SeeBethanyWrite

Hello, fabulous writing community, and happy 2021 to you! I’m new here as a contributor on the Learn How To Write A Novel blog, but I’ve been around a while when it comes to reading the posts and soaking in all the knowledge and wisdom I can from the experienced, insightful, and entertaining voices. And now, here I am—trying to figure out what knowledge and insight I can give back to a community that always gives me so much.

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

The truth is, when I ponder this sort of thing, I usually come up empty.

Oh, sure, I’ve learned things. I guess. For instance, here are a few things I didn’t know before I published my first novel in 2017, but that I now know and believe with every fiber of my being:

  • During the writing of each new book, there will come a time when I say to someone, “That was fun while it lasted but I’ve forgotten how to write.”
  • When the person I say that to argues with me, I will, inevitably, add some variation of the following: “No, seriously, the other books were flukes.”
  • When I am reminded that I said the same thing while writing those other fluke books, I will either a) shake my head in disbelief and say something to the effect of, “No, you’re remembering it incorrectly. I may have said that about [this book] but I never said it about [that book],” or b) begin sobbing profusely, become slightly unhinged, and insist through my tears, “But this is different!”

Hmm…what do you know? I actually know a lot! But those are things I know about myself. I’m sure no one else out there ever goes through that treasured writing ritual like I do. Right?

Okay now, let’s be honest. Time to get real. Maybe your ritual doesn’t look exactly like mine. Maybe your short-term memory is better than mine and you’re more inclined to say things like, “I know I say this every time, but I really don’t see how I’m ever going to write this chapter.” Maybe, unlike me, you aren’t the sobbing, mental breakdown type, and so you’re more likely to offer a subdued, “I’m struggling with this paragraph” to a friend or family member and then go for a walk. (Well, goody for you. Congratulations on your maturity. Must be nice!)

Regardless of what your version looks like, I bet you can identify. Seriously, if you can’t identify with those doubts at all, why are you even reading this? “Learn How To Write A Novel”? It looks like you need to be a contributing blogger on “Learn How To Take Over The World”! Are you just here to mock the rest of us?! (Ahem…sorry about that. What I meant to say was, “Yay for you! That’s awesome!”)

The point is, we all struggle. I’ve yet to meet a published author—no matter how successful—who doesn’t regularly go to battle against the epic foe, INSECURITY. And whether you’re working on your first novel or you’ve published a dozen bestsellers, there is little difference in how it feels. At best it’s irritating, at worst it’s paralyzing. Across the board. For pretty much all of us.

But do you know what? The more experienced writer does have one sizable advantage, compared to someone just starting out. This advantage can serve as a sword, a shield, and a battalion, all wrapped up in one. In my experience, this secret weapon doesn’t vanquish the foe entirely, but it does help make clear, from the very beginning, that I will ultimately be victorious. And I’m going to share the secret weapon with you now. 

The most valuable weapon I have come across to defeat the tireless, relentless foe of insecurity is the memory of hard-fought battles won. 

So go ahead and accept that you’ll have to fight the same mental battles time after time. Call on an accountability partner to remind you of specific, ridiculous things you said in the past. Leave yourself notes and take selfies to capture the moments when you thought you’d forgotten how to write, because once you realize that wasn’t true, it can be difficult to remember the absurdity of those fleeting moments.

Insecurity will likely never stop drawing you into battle, but always remember that when it comes to finishing the novel or not finishing the novel, throwing in the towel completely or refusing to take anything more than a break to recharge, and knowing that you’ve got it in you or believing the lies…it’s up to you whether or not insecurity ultimately wins. It’s up to all of us.

Now…go take your walk and I’ll throw my temper tantrum, and then it’s time to get back to work.

 


Hadley Beckett’s Next Dish

Get ready for a heaping helping of humor, romance, and second chances

Celebrity chef Maxwell Cavanagh is known for many things: his multiple Michelin stars, his top-rated Culinary Channel show, To the Max, and most of all his horrible temper. Hadley Beckett, host of the Culinary Channel’s other top-rated show, At Home with Hadley, is beloved for her Southern charm and for making her viewers feel like family.

When Max experiences a very public temper tantrum and is sent packing, his only chance to get back on TV and in the public’s good graces is to work alongside Hadley. As these polar-opposite celeb chefs begin to peel away the layers of public persona and reputation, they will not only discover the key ingredients for getting along but also learn the secret recipe for unexpected forgiveness . . . and maybe even love.

In the meantime, hide the knives.

“A delightful dish of a read! Bethany Turner’s Hadley Beckett’s Next Dish is a savory blend of wit, humor, and swoon-worthy romance, guaranteed to earn a place on the keeper shelf. Not to be missed!”–Jen Turano, USA Today bestselling author

Bethany Turner is an award-winning author of romantic comedies including The Secret Life of Sarah Hollenbeck, Wooing Cadie McCaffrey, and the upcoming Plot Twist. A former bank vice-president and a three-time cancer survivor (all before she turned 35), Bethany now serves on the executive staff of a growing church in Southwest Colorado, where she lives with her husband and their two teenaged sons. She writes for a new generation of readers who crave fiction that tackles the thorny issues of life with humor and insight. For her romantic comedy novels, Bethany has been awarded the Selah Award, received a starred review from Publishers Weekly, been repeatedly named to Family Fiction’s annual list of 40 Essential Romance Authors, and been a finalist for the Christy Award. But she’s also received some of the most fabulous one-star reviews ever written! (Seriously…there are some absolute gems in there.) Hang out with Bethany at seebethanywrite.com, or @seebethanywrite across social media platforms, where she’s likely to be found celebrating those one-star reviews and obsessing over Colin Firth.

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