Lindsay Harrel, @LindsayHarrel

Back in February, we talked about why self-care is important and how to fit it into our schedule. Little did I know just HOW important it was about to become! Thanks to the 2020 pandemic, we are all getting a little taste of just how important it is to take care of ourselves since our people are depending on us. All. The. Time. 

(insert crazy person face here! Haha)

But whether we’re trying to fit in self-care now during a pandemic or any old time, it’s still not easy. I’ve discovered that in order to add something into our life, we usually have to remove something, whether by quitting it altogether or finding someone else to do it for us. That “someone” can be a family member, a friend, or a service you hire. 

Here are some specific ways you can make more time for self-care:

• Use grocery pickup or a grocery delivery service. This is not just for COVID-19, folks! I’ve been doing it for a few years, and it saves me a few hours a week, since I only have to order on my phone or computer and then drive up to the store when it’s ready for me. You guys, I don’t even have to get my kids out of the car, which means it also saves me lots of frustration (and saves my ears from all the whining when my sons inevitably don’t get the toy they’re begging for). Bonus: You also will save money, because you won’t have all of those impulse buys that occur when you’re physically in the store.
• Alternatively, you can pay for a meal subscription service like HelloFresh. This company will deliver food for specific meals to your door. All you have to do is cook the food—no meal planning, no shopping, no ordering groceries or going to get them. Win win in my book. 
• Consider your true priorities in life and nix anything that doesn’t fit into those categories. Snag the My Brilliant Writing Planner or something like it to help!
• Hire a housecleaner. This has been my dream for years. If you can afford it, what’s stopping you? Consider it an investment in your mental well being.
• Assign your children to do some of the chores you currently are holding onto. I know it might not get done exactly how you’d like it to (e.g., no one will clean the bathrooms as well as you do!), but think about what you value more: a super-duper clean home or a well-balanced and restful life?
• Limit your TV consumption to only a few of your absolute favorite shows. (You can nix this advice if you’re still in quarantine when you’re reading this! TV has been sanity for many of us.) I actually find myself more rested mentally and emotionally when I read versus watching TV. If you’re the opposite, you can forego this suggestion. However, if you’re watching too many shows, those hours add up—and they’re hours you could be investing in yourself in other ways. Just remember, you want to approach self-care the same way you approach everything else: with balance.

Ideas for Practicing Self-Care as a Mom

Here are some practical ways to add self-care into your life as a writer mom (some of these will only apply after all the social distancing regulations have been lifted):

• Get a massage or pedicure.
• Read a book you’ve been dying to get to—one that’s got nothing to do with work, but is purely for pleasure.
• Spend an evening vegging out on your favorite TV show or watching a movie. And YOU pick the genre. Too often I find myself watching comedy or action (because that’s what my husband wants to watch) when I am really craving a chick flick. 
• Go to Starbucks alone (i.e., without your children!!). 
• Meet with a friend and talk about life!
• Take time for a hobby you haven’t done for awhile.
• Take a luxurious bath. Light candles, get some relaxing bath salts, throw on some soft tunes, and make sure the kids are locked out.  

Daily self-care checklist

Self-care is not only important every now and then. You should be prioritizing it every day. *ducks and covers because you’re throwing tomatoes at me and laughing hysterically and caustically*

I get it. Finding time for the occasional massage? Okay, maaaaaybe you can swing that. But to practice self-care daily? That feels nearly impossible.

But look. It doesn’t have to mean an hour out of your day (although it could). Here is a self-care checklist that you can use to improve your mood and refresh your spirit: 

• Pray or meditate. I like to do this first thing in the morning, when the house is quiet and no one is awake but me. It puts me in the best frame of mind when I can take time away from the noise to think about my goals, my blessings, my dreams, and ways I can improve. Connecting with God is the best medicine for my soul.
• Exercise. This doesn’t mean you have to go to the gym every day for an hour. Take a walk around the block. If your children are old enough to stay home alone for 15 minutes, go without them. If not, stick them in a stroller, throw some earbuds in, and play your favorite podcast or tunes while breathing in the fresh air.
• Listen to music. There are a ton of studies that show the benefit of music for both kids and adults. Add it to your self-care arsenal!
• Power nap. You know the whole “sleep while they’re sleeping” saying? If your kids still take naps during the day, the saying totally applies! “But my kids’ naptime is my time to work!” I know, me too. But according to the National Sleep Foundation, a nap of 20-30 minutes in the middle of the day can “help to improve mood, alertness, and performance.” That sounds like a pretty compelling reason to get some shuteye. You’ll wake up revived, refreshed, and energized to do better work than you could otherwise.
• Journal for five minutes. Whether you write about your stresses or record memories of your day, there’s something relaxing about releasing them in this way.
• Practice gratitude. Instead of making the first thing you do be checking your email on your phone, take a few minutes to consider what you’re grateful for that day. 

Making the most of your self-care

Remember, all of this self-care talk has a purpose—you becoming a better you, and in turn, a better writer mom. Being a work-at-home mom is an exhausting and never-ending job. There’s always someone who needs us. But when we can let go for awhile and focus on being the best us that we can be—finding rest in the midst of the storm that is life—then we come away with more energy to do the things we love.

Your Turn: What’s one thing you can do this week to practice self-care?

 

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The Joy of Falling

Eva and Angela must learn to live again. One step at a time.

It has been fifteen months since Eva and Angela lost their thrill-seeking husbands in a scuba diving accident. Both women are trying to navigate their way through the grief, but neither one is making much progress. Angela is barely making ends meet, angry at her husband for leaving her to raise three children on her own. Meanwhile, Eva is stuck, unable to move forward after losing the love of her life and her source of inspiration.

But then Eva gets a life-changing phone call. Before Brent and Wes died, they had signed up for a race of a lifetime—an ultra-marathon in beautiful New Zealand. Eva begs Angela to run the race with her in their husbands’ place, and Angela finally agrees, hoping to finally understand her husband’s choices.

Training is exhausting, and the race is even more demanding. Their journey grows more complicated by the presence of two men—Marc is Brent’s best friend who is running the race with Eva and Angela, and Simon King is a writer who is covering their inspiring story.

With every step, Eva and Angela must ask themselves questions that they haven’t had the courage to ask before. As the women literally put one foot in front of the other, they wonder: Is it possible to find their way forward in hope?

Lindsay Harrel is a lifelong book nerd who lives in Arizona with her young family and two golden retrievers in serious need of training. She’s held a variety of writing and editing jobs over the years, and now juggles stay-at-home mommyhood with writing novels. Her debut novel, One More Song to Sing, was a finalist in the 2017 ACFW Carol Awards. When she’s not writing or chasing after her children, Lindsay enjoys making a fool of herself at Zumba, curling up with anything by Jane Austen, and savoring sour candy one piece at a time.  Connect with her at http://www.LindsayHarrel.com or on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.