by Beth K. Vogt, @bethvogt
At my high school senior prom, my friend Chuck asked me to dance.
I declined.
Ten years later, at our class reunion, Chuck asked me to dance again.
And I declined again.
My saying no both times? It was me, not him.
Such a cliché, right? But it’s also the truth.
Chuck was a great guy. We’d shared lunchtimes and drama classes – but no dances.
My angst about how I’d look on the dance floor – both as a teen and as twentysomething – turned my want-to into a “no, thank you.”
Doubt is often the great determiner of what we do or don’t do. Of whether we dance or stand on the sidelines and wish we’d said yes.
Why is it that I’m willing to stand on the sidelines … and then I’m all too ready to partner up with doubt? I let thoughts like “do you really think someone’s going to ready this?” and “are you sure you can be successful at this writing gig?” lead me, just like Johnny seducing Baby in “Dirty Dancing,” step by step.
What if I dare to dream big about my writing? Close my eyes and imagine awards? Wish upon the stars for bestseller status …
… but what if my writing dream is a bust?
What if I tell myself again and again that I have the tough hide of a rhino? That sticks and stones may break my bones, but words written in bad reviews don’t bother me …
… but what if my sensitive writer’s heart beats louder than the positive mantra I keep repeating to myself?
What if I know that comparison is the thief of joy – thank you, Teddy Roosevelt – and I celebrate other writers’ successes and focus on who I am and my strengths and strive to remember someone’s else’s success doesn’t mean I’m a failure …
… but I still lay awake at night struggling to not feel like I’m an author-imposter? To celebrate me on days when the words won’t come and it seems like I can’t even remember how to spell “the?”
Doubt asks me to dance and I don’t think twice before I say yes, step into his arms, closing my eyes as I’m twirled around the room until I’m lost in uncertainty.
Nothing creative comes from uncertainty.
If I’d said yes to Chuck when he’d asked me to dance back in high school or at our class reunion, we would have had fun. We would have laughed. Would the dance have been perfect? Probably not. But would it have been worth it?
Absolutely.
We would have made a memory. Maybe I’d be writing about that now: the beauty of imperfectness.
Dancing with doubt … where’s the fun in that?
Doubt is a lousy partner who hogs the conversation while stepping on your toes.
The next time doubt asks me to dance, I want to decline – and go look for a better partner.
Someone like Chuck.
Care to join me on the dance floor?
Moments We Forget by Beth K. Vogt
Jillian Thatcher has spent most of her life playing the family peacemaker, caught in the middle between her driven, talented older sister and her younger, spotlight-stealing twin sisters. Then on the night of her engagement party, a cancer diagnosis threatens to once again steal her chance to shine.
Now, Jillian’s on the road to recovery after finally finishing chemo and radiation, but residual effects of the treatment keep her from reclaiming her life as she’d hoped. And just when her dreams might be falling into place, a life-altering revelation from her husband sends her reeling again.
Will Jillian ever achieve her own dreams, or will she always be “just Jillian,” the less-than Thatcher sister? Can she count on her sisters as she tries to step into a stronger place, or are they stuck in their childhood roles forever?
Beth K. Vogt
Beth K. Vogt is a non-fiction author and editor who said she’d never write fiction. She’s the wife of an Air Force family physician (now in solo practice) who said she’d never marry a doctor—or anyone in the military. She’s a mom of four who said she’d never have kids. Now Beth believes God’s best often waits behind the doors marked “Never.” The Best We’ve Been, the final book in Beth’s Thatcher Sisters Series with Tyndale House Publishers, releases May 2020. Other books in the series include Things I Never Told You, which one the 2019 AWSA Award for Contemporary Novel of the Year, and Moments We Forget.
Beth is a 2016 Christy Award winner, a 2016 ACFW Carol Award winner, and a 2015 RITA® finalist. Her 2014 novel, Somebody Like You, was one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Best Books of 2014. A November Bride was part of the Year of Wedding Series by Zondervan. Having authored nine contemporary romance novels or novellas, Beth believes there’s more to happily-ever-after than the fairy tales tell us.
An established magazine writer and former editor of the leadership magazine for MOPS International, Beth blogs for Learn How to Write a Novel and The Write Conversation and also enjoys speaking to writers group and mentoring other writers. She lives in Colorado with her husband Rob, who has adjusted to discussing the lives of imaginary people. Connect with Beth at bethvogt.com.