by Hallee Bridgeman, @halleeb
Here is my take on FANBOYS:
In the narrative, if at all possible, avoid beginning any sentence with any of the so-called FANBOYS (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, or So) coordinating conjunctions. Use caution with the word “because”, or British English equivalents such as “no more”, “as well”, and “neither”.
Here’s why: Sentences are much stronger when they stand alone. While coordination of equivalent words is fine, coordinating sentences is weak writing. Too many sentences beginning with conjunctions often tire readers out, as if they are reading a very long run-on sentence.
Carefully evaluate whether this sentence reads stronger without the conjunction as the first word:
Yet, it is not completely forbidden. For there are some sentences that just sound better this way. And it works well in some instances. But best done sparingly.
Try dropping the FANBOYS words altogether and see if the sentence holds up.
It is not completely forbidden. There are some sentences that just sound better this way. It does work well in some instances. However, it is best done sparingly.
Try alternatives like just, merely, only, purely, simply, also, too, however, though, although, or still. Try revising or rearranging the narrative to eliminate the need to coordinate the two sentences so the flow reads more naturally.
It’s normal and natural to speak with sentences that begin with those conjunctions. Stylistically, you can keep some in to help with the flow of the narrative – especially when you’re really immersed into your character’s point of view. They are not a grammatical error any more than using forms of “to be” verbs are a grammatical error, but they point to immature writing. In the same way that changing “to be” verbs to active verbs makes the writing stronger, dropping FANBOYS at the beginning of sentences makes the writing stronger.
Using them also destroys any intentional flow. It is especially weak to use the phrases like “And, then” or “But, then” – when it’s completely proper to use the word just “Then” without the conjunction, and it makes it a better written sentence.
An example:
And then, he drew his sword.
But then, he drew his sword.
Then, he drew his sword.
Out of these three sentences, you can see that the one that carries its own weight and stands alone as the strongest sentence is: Then, he drew his sword. It’s not relying on the previous sentence to have the impact the reader seeks. It is an active, stable sentence that can stand on its own.
Without a FANBOY, sentences will read stronger. Not tying them to the previous sentence allows each sentence to carry its own weight.
You also never want to give the reader an excuse to put down your book. Like I said, when using too many FANBOYS in the beginning of sentences, your reader is going to feel exhausted and need to break from reading.
Please note, that because we speak naturally with FANBOYS beginning our sentences, this does not apply to dialogue, and only applies to narrative. We naturally use FANBOYS, so chances are your characters are going to naturally use them, too. That’s a good thing. It’s very easy to say, “And so we went to the store…”
When in self-editing mode, I simplify the search for FANBOYS by searching for the capitalized forms of those words – that way I know they’re at the beginning of sentences. Once I discover the times I’ve used FANBOYS (and honestly, it’s more than I’d like to admit), I evaluate each sentence. Sometimes, I keep them. Usually, I reword the sentence to lose them.
Can Ian and Calla find love together, or will the secret she is keeping rip them apart? CALLA VAUGHN has spent the last three years desperately trying to get her life in order so that she can go back to culinary school. No matter how hard she works, though, she feels like she is just treading water and can’t see any way out of the hole dug for her by a con artist who stole her identity.
When flowers she sends to her best friend with a dinner invitation accidentally get delivered to IAN JONES, she decides to cook him the best meal he’s ever had. By the time she admits that the flowers were never for him, he is as convinced as she is that God orchestrated the mistake in the first place.
Ian knows God has chosen Calla as the woman for him, but Calla is hiding something big. Will Ian understand her situation, or will the deception surrounding Calla destroy any trust he has in her?
With more than half a million book sales, Hallee Bridgeman is a best-selling Christian author who writes action-packed romantic suspense focusing on realistic characters who face real world problems. Her work has been described as everything from refreshing to heart-stopping exciting and edgy.
An Army brat turned Floridian, Hallee finally settled in central Kentucky with her family so that she could enjoy the beautiful changing of the seasons. She enjoys the roller-coaster ride thrills that life with a National Guard husband, a college sophomore daughter, and two elementary aged sons delivers.
A prolific writer, when she’s not penning novels, you will find her in the kitchen, which she considers the ‘heart of the home’. Her passion for cooking spurred her to launch a whole food, real food “Parody” cookbook series. In addition to nutritious, Biblically grounded recipes, readers will find that each cookbook also confronts some controversial aspect of secular pop culture.
Hallee is a member of the Published Author Network (PAN) of the Romance Writers of America (RWA) where she serves as a long time board member in the Faith, Hope, & Love chapter. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and the American Christian Writers (ACW) as well as being a member of Novelists, Inc. (NINC).
Hallee loves coffee, campy action movies, and regular date nights with her husband. Above all else, she loves God with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength; has been redeemed by the blood of Christ; and relies on the presence of the Holy Spirit to guide her. She prays her work here on earth is a blessing to you and would love to hear from you. You find Hallee on her blog at halleebridgeman.com