by Jeanne Takenaka, @jeannetakenaka

I remember the year when I wanted to attend the American Christian Fiction Writer’s national conference, but I couldn’t. The sense of loss, of missing out on the experiences, the connections, the teachings, and the celebrations opened up a hole inside me and disappointment filled in every nook.

I thought about the people I knew who were attending, the excitement (and nervousness) of pitching appointments. Of laughing and sharing with fellow writers. And I tried not to give into that jealousy niggling into my thoughts. As I sat at home, I began to pray for people in attendance.

I had a choice about how I handled the disappointment of missing out. I could throw myself a pity party (which I did, for a little while). Or, I could be productive.

Being productive feels so much better than wallowing in the thoughts of missing out.

Ways we can be productive when we can’t attend the conference (or participate in other things we’d really like to be a part of):

1. Pray for those in attendance. Pray for their appointments, for the connections they’ll make, for their hearts to be open to God’s plan and timing.
2. Take our eyes off of ourselves. When we focus on others . . . when we choose to celebrate and support them . . . we end up feeling a little better about not being there.
3. When we can, give ourselves extra time to work on our own stories. We may not be able to attend the conference, but we can move forward on our own journeys.
4. Use the time to learn more about writing craft. Or marketing. Or some other aspect of this writing journey.
5. If money is an issue, save up for a smaller, local conference. Attending local conferences opens up opportunities to build relationships with people who live nearby. As writers, we need to connect with people who “get” us. This is a great way to meet like-minded people who may become friends and cheerleaders.
6. Remember that, ultimately, our paths are in God’s hands. His plan for our journey and His timing are always perfect, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
7. If you’re able, purchase the flash drive from the conference. ACFW prepares a flash drive each year with all the teachings and Spotlights on it. It’s not cheap, but it’s much less expensive than the conference itself. And we can gain valuable information by plugging that baby into our computers and listening.

The good thing is, many conferences are annual. So, if we miss one, we can make plans to attend next year’s event.

I loved following the pictures of friends who participated in ACFW that year. And, I spent extra time on my story during those few days. I also took steps so that I could attend the following year.

What about you? How do you navigate the sense of missing out when friends go to conferences you can’t attend? What advice would you add to this list?

Award-winning aspiring novelist, Jeanne Takenaka, writes contemporary inspirational fiction that tackles real-life issues with a heart to draw women closer to God and those around them. She lives near the mountains in Colorado with her amazing husband and two exuberant boy-men. She loves being God’s girl—always learning about His grace, hanging out with friends and enjoying a great cup of coffee. When she’s not writing you can find her with a camera in her hand, looking for #alittlebitofpretty in her days. You can connect with her on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.