Recently I was talking author Beth Vogt about deepening emotion in her current WIP as she’s facing rewrites from her editors.

As we began to discuss how to do this, I came up with an equation:

Feelings + Thought = Emotion.

Now, this is a subtle motivation not necessarily the over all, BIG story motivation, but the micro motivation of a scene.

All scenes must have a purpose.

A Goal.

Some Conflict.

Tension.

And in these elements we see a bit more of the protagonist’s emotion which equals scene “motivation.”

For example, Beth had a scene where her heroine was in a bridal shop with her best friend who’d recently become engaged.

The heroine was the last girl in singleville.

As she’s sitting in the bridal shop, watching her friends, watching other customers, I knew what she was doing but not what she was feeling.

The detail of Beth’s scene was extraordinary, but the emotion was standoffish and as a reader, I needed to be drawn in more.

Discussing this with Beth, we talked about how feeling and thoughts equal the emotion of a scene.

The emotion goes toward the micro character motivation.

“What is the protagonist doing here?”

“Why?”

“What does she hope to accomplish?”

“How does this scene set her up for success or failure?”

The list of questions can go on but the emotion of the scene is what lures in the heart of the reader.

With Beth, she was giving me a lot of what the character saw and thought, but not of what she felt about being the LAST of her friends in singleville.

Emotion is critical to envelop the reader into the heart of the character.

So, how can you tell if your scene is swimming in the shallow end of the emotion pool?

1. Do a verb check? How many of them are action verbs not related emotion? Is the protagonist watching, regarding, waiting, looking, thinking, moving…

2. Is there internal thought and dialog that goes to the heart and not the head? For example:

Rachel watched her friend walk down the aisle. Beth’s dress was beautiful, she was beautiful. Rob sure was a lucky groom. Around the room, all the faces were smiling, and the live quartet playing Pacabel’s Canon in D were superb.

See, we get what Rachel is thinking. And seeing. But what is she feeling?

Rachel watched her friend walk down the aisle. Beth’s dress was beautiful. She was beautiful. Tears stung Rachel’s eyes. She wanted to be happy for Beth. She was, wasn’t she? But Beth’s marriage left Rachel alone in Singleville. And despite the beauty of Beth, her smiling groom, the melody of the music, Rachel’s heart sank. She was never going to find true love.

The feelings and emotional dialog also sets up the story for the hooks.

Is Rachel right? She’ll never find true love? Her emotional rehearsal also clues us into her character history. She’s the last one of her friends to get married. She’s happy but fighting tears of sadness. For herself.

So feelings + thoughts = emotions.

Here’s the real kicker.

The emotion must come from you, the writer!

It takes time and energy, and heart, to pour out emotion on the page.

You’ll need quiet. As well as pressure to “get her done.”

You’ll need to dig into your own heart and life experience, convert it into something that fits for your protagonists.

Give the emotions life: words, feeling, detail. The more specific the better.

Move INTO the scene.

If a scene is feeling flat or stale, double check your emotion. Scratch all the watching, unemotional verbs.

Then rewrite the scene.

Happy Writing

 

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Best-selling, award-winning author Rachel Hauck loves a great story. She excels in seeing the deeper layers of a story.

With a love for teaching and mentoring, Rachel comes alongside writers to help them craft their novel.

A worship leader, board member of ACFW and popular writing teacher, Rachel is the author of over 16 novels.

She lives in Florida with her husband and her dog, Lola. Contact her at: Rachel@mybooktherapy.com. Her next book, Once Upon A Prince, releases May 7!

Go forth and write!

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