I was reading a book on my way home from the Oregon Writers Conference and while the plot started out interesting, I quickly lost interest due to the slow down in scene development.

This is a real struggle for writers. A struggle for me. I am tempted to stick so close to the conflict I forget to slow down and let the readers into the character’s world.

When I do slow down to open up the character, I really slow down. Almost bog down, in my opinion.

That’s why I love rewriting. But even on a rewrite, I can leave too much in the story. Working through a substantive edit of my next book, Once Upon A Prince, I realized I’d left too much character history and some tidbits of back story in the opening chapters.

It was way too detailed and burdened. My editor said, “The opening is too long.”

She was right but it was up to me to figure out why and how to fix it.

We are the craftsman. We need to learn how to recognize our weaknesses in any given story and decipher how to fix them.

So I cut. I tightened. Sometimes too much detail is the author’s way of figuring out the story. It feels right on the draft, even on the second and third, because it fills the gaps in our own understanding.

But on the substantive edit, it feels telling and overdone. It needs to go.

Usually over told details can be summed up in sentences – prose or dialog. Often hinted at as a secret.

Symbols can be constructed to show the characters dilemma or emotions rather than telling them.

It’s not easy. But we can do it.

The other issue noted in my own work recently was a lack of response to events in the previous scene.

I see this in therapies I do, too. This is a simple fix, so let’s break it down.

Example:

Our hero Jim learns that his wife his a hundred thousand dollars in debt. He didn’t even know she had her own credit card or bank account.

An FBI agent is at the door, looking for her. He calls her cell, no answer. Calls her office number, no answer.

It appears as if she’s vanished.

Wow, pretty intense. The reader is now set to see Jim react to this news. Or move into another action scene.

How does Jim respond to his wife’s disappearance and deception?

What I’ve read in books, therapies and in my own work is something like this:

Jim goes to work, concerned about this news but the moment his buddy reminds him of the Fantasy Football draft at his house that night, Jim is off on conversation about his football picks.

Maybe a co-worker comes in and reminds him of the ten o’clock staff meeting and hands him the print out of his report.

We are in Jim’s world, but we are not in Jim’s heart. It’s perfectly fine to show Jim at work but he should look like he got hit by a Mac truck. He blows off the Fantasy Football draft party. He can’t remember what he was supposed to talk about at the meeting.

The phone rings and he jumps, his hands shaking as he sees the FBI agent’s number on the screen.

This reaction keeps the reader in the story. Even if we are introducing a new plot point, we should tie it back to the original idea that Jim’s wife stole a hundred thousand dollars and hightailed.

Let’s look at another example:

Mary Rose is finally asked out on a date. At thirty-five, she’s given up on true love. When she arrives home at night, she tells her roommate the handsome new man at the office invited her to dinner.

The roommate raises a brow. She’s never known Mary Rose to date before.

This is a great hook. What’s going on. Why has Mary Rose never dated?

Next scene we see Mary Rose with her family, laughing at dinner, and we get the feeling the family is tight. She goes to the kitchen with Mom to clean up and Mom tells her Kaitlyn Carter ran away from home again.

Mary Rose sighs, ruminating in her mind how Kaitlyn showed such promise. But Mary Rose had to give up her volunteer youth counseling when she volunteered to take care of her sick grandfather.

So, how is she going to help Kaitlyn?

Wait, what happened to the date with the handsome co-worker?

Introduced so early on, the Kaitlyn plot point feels bumpy. What about the date? What about her past? Her love life? Why has she never dated? What does the family think of her dating… or not dating?

Action.

Reaction.

Scene building on scene building on sequel building on scene.

Weaving in new plot points without leaving emotions from the previous scene wagging in the wind.

It’s like building a house. The foundation is laid. The pipes and wiring installed. The concrete poured. Then the walls go up.

A story is built the same way.

Make sense?

Introduce your story line upon line. Action needs reaction.

Happy Writing.

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Best-selling, award-winning author Rachel Hauck loves a great story. She excels in seeing the deeper layers of a story. With a love for teaching and mentoring, Rachel comes alongside writers to help them craft their novel. A worship leader, board member of ACFW and popular writing teacher, Rachel is the author of over 15 novels. She lives in Florida with her husband and her dog, Lola. Contact her at: Rachel@mybooktherapy.com.