“You look upset,” Sally said as she sat down on the deck. She wore a white shirt, her hair pulled back in a sixties’ style headband and a sleek summer tan.

I sighed, stirring my frappucino. “I just had a difficult conversation with my son about his driving skills.”

“Did you argue?”

“No. And that’s the problem. He said everything right. It’s what he didn’t say that bothered me.”

She frowned.

“We were driving into town. He was riding beside me, his elbow out the window, when I broached the topic. I mentioned that we’d seen him driving in town recently a little too recklessly, and if he wanted to drive our cars he’d have to slow down.”

“And?”

“He said, ‘Sure, Mom. Whatever.’”

“That doesn’t sound–”

“He was scrolling through his music on his iTouch at the time. As soon as he said it, his plugged in his earphones and cranked on some screamer music. He then stared out the window the entire ride as if I didn’t exist.”

“Oh,” she said.

“Technically, his words said he agreed. But his body language and actions screamed dissent.” I took a sip of my frap. “That’s what I wanted to talk about today – how dialogue is accentuated by the action that surrounds it. Of course, your dialogue is the primary vehicle for your conversation. However, like we talked about last week, every conversation has a meaning behind it, and there is always subtexting going on, either in words –meaning they have double meaning – or in actions. In this case, my son displayed by his actions – louder than his words — that he didn’t want to hear my criticism. Great dialogue employs the combination of words plus meaningful action plus body language to create a powerful impact.”

“Meaningful action is just that – an action beyond body language that adds another layer of meaning to your dialogue. When we are in a scene, just to have your characters reacting with their body or tone makes for a mundane scene. A person can only smile so much, right?”

She smiled, nodded.

“So, you want to wrap up their words in actions that can deepen their meaning, like my son did when he plugged in his earphones.”

I pulled a piece of paper from my bag. “I like to use this example when I talk about meaningful action. Consider these two excerpts based in this sample dialogue:

“I don’t care where you’re going. Stay out all night if you want to. In fact, I hope you have a great time.”

“Now, I’m going to add some meaningful action and just a smidge of body language:

“I don’t care where you’re going.” Janice barely looked up from her book as he stood by the door. “Stay out all night if you want to.” She put a thumb over the paragraph to keep her place. Looked up and smiled – the kind of smile she used to give him, when she did trust him. When he deserved her trust. “In fact, I hope you have a great time.” 

He closed the door, hating himself as it latched behind him. 

“Notice that she doesn’t even use tone of voice, just her actions show that she’s reached a point of not caring. Now, let’s look at another way, same words: 

“I don’t care where you’re going.” Janice dumped the baked potatoes into the garbage. “Stay out all night if you want to.” She flashed him a smile as she threw the casserole pan into the sink, turned on the water full blast. She forced herself not to wince as it splashed her face. “In fact, I hope you have a great time.” She grabbed the towel and very, very slowly, wiped her face, keeping the towel there until she heard the soft click of the door closing behind her husband. 

“Okay, one of the differences is that these are in two different points of view. Again, I didn’t use any voice tones, just actions behind the words and the barest amount of body language.”

Sally reached into her bag. “So, when I consider my dialogue, I have to also think through what my character is doing while he’s speaking and use that to add to meaning to the scene.” She pulled out a notebook and opened it on her lap.

“Exactly. It doesn’t work with every scene – especially if it’s a big argument. Because frankly, you don’t need it then, but for those medium tension scenes, add in some meaningful action and a touch of body language, and you just might have the reader stewing all day.”

She leaned over. “Make him pay for the insurance and he’ll turn off that iTouch, I’ll bet.”

I grinned and held up my frappucino in a toast. “Sally, you’re a genius.”

Truth: To power up your dialogue, add meaningful action and only a scant amount of body language.

Dare: Go through a scene and take out all the instances of tone of voice and facial expression. Can you instead insert a strong, meaningful action?

Happy Writing!

Susie May

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