I once heard a story of a woman who felt her husband of thirty years no longer loved her. For weeks she worked up the courage to confront her mate. Finally she broached the subject. When she accused him of failing love, her husband’s eyes flew open wide and his jaw dropped.
“I told you I loved you when we got married,” he defended. “If I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know.”
That might work in some remote corner of the universe, but definitely not in our galaxy, and especially not in the Valentine’s Day month. In order for the flame of love to stay alive, you must nurture it. Fan the flame. Tell your lover and show them in tangible ways every day that they are in your thoughts.
The same is true with your other partner. You know, that writing dream you fell in love with. This month we’ll explore that relationship and how to win your dream over in your heart.
So today, let’s get back to Mr. I-Told-You-Once. What’s wrong with his philosophy?
1) He was self-centered in his thinking and didn’t consider the one he loves.
2) He neglected the relationship, thereby stunting its growth.
3) He incorrectly assumed his partner knew how he felt without his attention.
He cruised along just fine for decades while his wife died a slow death.
It’s the same with your dream of becoming a writer. You have that desire. You’d love to walk into Barnes and Noble and see your name in print. You love to daydream of book signings and fan clubs. Your heart leaps and your belly tightens when you think of the dream you love.
You decided to love the dream. To commit to it. But making that decision at the altar of your writing career will never be enough to keep the dream alive. That’s only the starting point. It needs you to woo it. To caress and hold it. Talk to it. To cuddle it on a cold night. It needs to hear you say, “I love you.”
A dream neglected will soon fade into insignificance. It will pack its bags and move out of your life. It will find someone else to partner with. You don’t want that because you’re pretty fond of that dream. . . aren’t you? You were born for each other.
So, when it comes to your love affair with your prose, once is not enough to give it attention. It’s a daily privilege. Pay attention to it. Give it the time it deserves. Help it to know how much you care about it. When you do, you’ll ignite the fire and begin a love affair that will only result in a life of passion.
As sad as it sounds, once is also not enough to remind you how much you love your dream of being a writer. You have to have that daily reminder of who and what’s important in your life. Otherwise you’ll get sidetracked. Perhaps even forget altogether.
Don’t take your love affair with your dream for granted. Nurture it. Spend time with it. Show it how much your love it. You’ll soon realize you can’t live without it. Isn’t that what love is?
AUTHOR BIO: Reba J. Hoffman is the MBT Member Care Coach. She has a PhD in clinical counseling and is the founder and president of New Hope Institute of Counseling. Reba uses her gift of encouragement to help writers overcome negative emotions so they can live their dream of being a writer. Her works appear in publications such as Running for the Woman’s Soul by Road Runner Sports and The Good Fight by Donna Hicken. She is the author of My Book Therapy’s Dare to Dream, a Writer’s Journal. Contact her at reba@mybooktherapy.com.