I attended my first writer’s conference in ’97. Since I’d traveled a lot in my corporate career, arriving alone at Wheaton College didn’t overwhelm me.

I got along with my roommate and soon made friends with the newly contracted DiAnn Mills. I attended Davis Bunn’s continuing sesson and soaked up every thing he taught us.

But when I went to the first ACFW conference in 2002, I hated it. Rather, I hated myself in the midst of it. I felt like a goof, out of place, like I wanted to follow the “popular kids.”

Oddly enough, I wasn’t without connection. I was on the conference committee. I was friends with the president.

Conferences stir a lot of emotions. Many of them negative. It’s like high school all over again only with so much more on the line.

Here are a few tricks I learned to get me through.

1. Never say never. I promised myself I’d never go to another conference unless God so clearly directed. As of today, I’ve been to every ACFW conference and one RWA. I think of all the great moments and friendships I’d have missed out on if I’d kept my first pledge. I’m glad God didn’t hold me to it.

2. Go to serve rather than to be served. I’m not talking about being on a committee or even volunteering, though those are good things to do, I’m talking about looking for someone to befriend, encourage, help. Save a seat at your table for the one person who doesn’t have a friend to eat with. Ask others how “they” are doing and don’t be offended if they don’t ask in kind.

3. Be prepared. While we are coming to network and build relationships, ACFW and other conferences are a professional venue to meet editors and agents. If you sign up for an appointment, have your pitch ready. Do a bit of homework. Find out what the agent is looking for, or what the editor likes and needs.

4. Don’t argue with an editor or agent about your idea. Ask questions, ask for help or information, but don’t tell them they are crazy for not liking your idea. You aren’t proving your confidence in yourself, but proving you can’t work with others.

5. Be on time to dinner, workshops and the general session.

6. Don’t hold up others with long conversations. Be AWARE of what’s going on around you. Consider that people are tired, fighting discouragement or churning with ideas. Be AWARE of the time. One year I missed a first time author, a friend of mine, getting her contract because I was held up in conversation. Hmm, maybe that was my fault. . .

7. Dress as nicely as you can. If you can’t afford new clothes like me, take the nicest ones you have and dress them up. I’m a jeans girl, but I try my best to add to my outfit and dress up my jeans.

8. Have good hygiene. Surprised? It’s not a given.

9. Make time to fellowship after hours.

10. Pray! Believe God to open the doors for you.