Rachel Here:

Yesterday while working on book next, “Love Begins with Elle,” I was working on a scene where I needed Elle, my heroine, to discover she could not open a new art gallery in her home town of Beaufort, SC.

She’d sold her gallery months before because she thought she was moving away to do something exciting. But… I don’t want to give away the whole story.

I also have the hero’s POV in this book. Feeling like Heath McCord’s point of view hadn’t been on the pages in a while, I decided to write the scene from his eyes.

Here’s the scene from Heath’s point of view. By the way, he’s gorgeous, single and the father of a four-year-old girl, Haley-Love.

Setting: A Sunday afternoon lunch at Elle’s parent’s home with her sisters. Rio is Elle’s niece. Note this is literally first draft. NO editing.

Heath’s Scene: Talking with Elle’s dad and brother-in-law:

“I kid you not, Heath, Truman sat in the boat all night trolling for the one that got away. We came out the next morning to find him slumped over about to sleep-drown. We couldn’t even find his rod. It was long gone.” Hale slapped his leg. His wife was Elle’s sister, Mary Jo, Heath noted for memory sake.
“You think it’s funny, Hale, but I got that sucker the next day. Twenty pound bass.”
“Very persistent, Truman.”
“Do you fish?” Hale asked.
“Not really, my dad liked to go out some, but he spent most of his time driving us to football or basketball practice.” He stopped at the rise of female voices coming from the other side of the sliding glass doors.
Truman opened the door. “What’s going on in here?”
“Candace, how did I not know this?”
“I told you to read the addendum, Elle.”
“I did and I never read the words, ‘Elle can’t open another art gallery for three years.’”
Candace tipped back her head and dropped her shoulders with a large sigh. “Elle, I told you, I know I told you.”
“No you didn’t”
Heath stepped around a fuming Elle to set his tea on the kitchen counter. Haley-Love’s giggles came from another room.
“So, that’s it, I’m stuck. No gallery. How am I supposed to survive.”
Heath tip-toed backwards out of the room, looking for HL. Being on the edge of a family dispute made him uneasy.
******

Okay, rough scene, but we’re learning Elle’s life has taken another drastic turn downward. I liked the scene from Heath’s point of view and it goes on to show him playing “kitchen” with his daughter and Elle’s niece.

But as I wrote, I realized it showed a compassionate side of Heath, but left us high and dry on the devastation Elle experienced. So, I rewrote the scene from her point of view.

Elle’s scene (coming in the middle.) Candace is Elle’s lawyer sister:

Candace pointed at Elle with her fork. “What are you going to do now? I heard of a couple recent engagements, you could go back to wedding photography.”
“Why would I do that? I’m opening another gallery.”
By now, Mama and Mary Jo joined them after cleaning up in the kitchen. Sara Beth and her brood were on their way to Florida for a few days.
“Funny, Elle. Mama this is good cake.”
“Recipe is in the kitchen, Candace, if you want.”
“What do you mean, ‘funny,’ Candace?” Elle leaned forward with a sinking sensation.
“I mean funny, you opening another gallery.”
“What’s so funny about it?”
Heath came in from the deck with Daddy, Alex and Hale.
“Dear sister, I know you’re nursing a broken heart, but did you loose your mind in the process? You can’t open another gallery in Beaufort for three years.”
“What?” Elle shot off the couch and into Heath. He stumbled back as she grabbed onto him. “Sorry, Heath.”
“No problem. Where’s Haley-Love?”
“Upstairs playing with Rio. First room on the right,” Mama said, pointing over her head.
“Candace, why can’t I open a gallery? What am I going to do for a living?”
“Elle, I told you to read the addendum to the sale.”
“I did.”
“And it says you can’t compete with Angela Littleton for three years.”
“Are you crazy. Why didn’t you tell me.”
Candace rose to meet Elle’s gaze. “I did. When I told you to read the addendum.”
“For crying out loud, Candy, you should’ve asked me if I was sure of all the sale conditions.”
“For crying out loud, Elle, I asked you twice. And you said, ‘Yes, yes, I get it. I’m not stupid, Candy.’”
“But a non compete. You should’ve put it to me in artist-speak.”
“Well, I would’ve if I’d known one you didn’t understand and that you’d be back in Beaufort before you left.”
Ell sunk down to the couch. Everyone remained stone still.
*****

Now, the scene is rough. Very rough and needs more emotion, but do you see how much more powerful it is from Elle’s point of view? It’s happening to HER, not Heath, so hearing it second hand through Heath’s point of view weakened the scene.

When deciding whose point of view to tell the story, or what action needs to play out on stage, think of the power and emotion you need and want. With the scene from Heath’s point of view, I lose the impact of emotion. I can’t show how Elle is feeling and reacting. It’s second hand information.

Let the emotion and drama play out on the page.

Hope this self-therapy helps!

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