For decades I’ve counseled with couples who started off their relationship with a flame as hot as lava in a volcano. Time and neglect cooled the fire, until all that remained was a few embers begging for a breath of air to fan the flame that long ago flickered out.

It’s sad, really, especially when it doesn’t have to happen. Scientists say our sun will eventually burn out and there’s nothing we can do about it. I don’t know whether that’s true but I do know that our love is a choice and we have complete control over whether the flame burns bright or is extinguished altogether.

The same is true with this love affair with our writing dream we’ve been talking about all month. We’re driving the relationship. Publishers, editors, agents and naysayers don’t. They are powerless to spray water on the fire that burns in your soul unless you let them. You and you alone can extinguish the love you have for your dream of being an author, or it can squelch it, choke out the oxygen and kill the dream.

The choice and power are yours. Isn’t that great? You choose whether or not you will love your dream or divorce it. You decide whether you’ll grow the dream and fan the flames of passion. You are in charge of your own love and where you choose to place it.

When you make the decision to love your dream, it becomes alive to you. It occupies your thoughts and fills your day. You yearn to grow with it and deepen the relationship. When you’re apart, you ache to be reunited with it. When you’re neglecting it, you feel ashamed.

If I could stitch this month’s life coach lessons together, they will form a fabric that is that of your writing dream. Just like the love you have for your spouse, your children, parents, pets, you decide whether or not you are going to commit to loving your dream of being a writer.

Embrace it. Breathe life into the dream. Make it a necessary part of your very existence. Give it the attention it desperately needs. Nurture it and get to know it intimately. Know it’s every feature, its weaknesses, what it needs from you as its partner. Get so close to your writing dream that you think its thoughts, know its next move, feels the beat of its heart.

That is what will grow your dream and keep the love alive. When we love, life is grand. Love your dream and your writing will grow by leaps and bounds, and will contain a thread woven deep into its fabric. It is the three-strand cord of love and it won’t be easily broken.

You can do it. I believe in you. Why not share your stories of your relationship with your writing dream on the team member forum? I’d love to read them. You can also email me privately at reba@mybooktherapy.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Links to Part’s one through three are here:http://www.mybooktherapy.com/?p=5218  http://www.mybooktherapy.com/?p=5228 http://www.mybooktherapy.com/?p=5242

AUTHOR BIO: Reba J. Hoffman is the MBT Member Care Coach. She has a PhD in clinical counseling and is the founder and president of New Hope Institute of Counseling. Reba uses her gift of encouragement to help writers overcome negative emotions so they can live their dream of being a writer. Her works appear in publications such as Running for the Woman’s Soul by Road Runner Sports and The Good Fight by Donna Hicken. She is the author of My Book Therapy’s Dare to Dream, a Writer’s Journal. Contact her at reba@mybooktherapy.com.