Thanks to everyone who posted their hooks on the site. Very brave and stellar.

We loved them all!! We truly did. It was so hard to pick.

The winner is…

“I felt nothing as I sighted my M-4 rifle on a distant point and maintained position, despite getting sandblasted by a putrid desert wind.”

Anastasia B. Congratulations. You are the winner of the gift certificate. We loved how you set the stage for your character. We were right there, we knew time and place. Putrid desert wind is a lovely line.

You raised the stakes with this line, “But a fierce evil lurked in every corner and culvert, whispering that if I couldn’t defeat it, I would be forced to join it.”

Now the reader is curious, wanting to know what force is after our protagonist. You raised a great story question.

We loved the imagery of “Only two days into my deployment, and already everything inside had locked down” because it gave us a time frame and we could see the protag’s emotional and internal struggle ramping up with what is clearly a physical, external struggle.

Wonderful job!

The runners up are:

“Edie Baxter shucked off her scrubs for the last time.”

Melinda Walker. Congratulations.

What we loved about this was the story question you raised. What does she have to tell her Daddy? “Even though Daddy wasn’t home yet, she glanced over her shoulder, then lifted the mattress and drew out the framed wedding photograph of Mom.” This is a great showing line, setting the stage and place and presenting the question.

“She held the picture against her and closed her eyes; it’d been too long already—she had to tell Daddy tonight.” Great imagery and emotion here.

The Clemson shirt gives us place. Also a notion of the protagonists age and education. Very good job! Melinda, you win the Susie or Rachel book of your choice.

The third hook we liked was:

“Aaysha Field pulled at her head scarf attempting to conceal the tears that trickled down her face as she gazed out the tiny window of seat 17A.”

Charmaine Contos. Congratulations.

This is a great opening line. We are right in the setting, we feel the emotion, and anticipate the external conflict.

“. . .hot sand blowing against his crisply pressed fatigues while he touched his fingers to his lips in a tender farewell kiss” is nice imagery and gives us place and setting.

The story question is raised about her young-bride life as she leaves her Marine husband behind. The internal and external conflict is on the rise. We can anticipate it.

You win the Susie or Rachel book of your choice.

To the others, we felt you had nice hooks and raised good story questions. These three just stood out.

Winners, send us your snail mails, and book of your choice.

Blessings!
Rachel