by Rachel Hauck, @RachelHauck 

Last time I wrote about the power of the male virgin. In this second part, a few of my writer buddies offered insight to their heroes.

Can a hero be strong, viral, and viable as a virgin.CertainlyOutlander’s Jamie Fraser proved it was possible.

Author Tamera Alexander’s hero in her book, Revealed, was a virgin. The heroine was a reformed prostitute.

“That made for a fun combination to write,” Tamera said.

Rachel: Why did you choose to make him a virgin?

Tamera: Matthew had loved younger in life but he and the girl decided to wait for marriage. The relationship didn’t work out and he was bitter about life, and then women. Especially when his brother married a former prostitute. When Jonathan died, he left his land to Matthew and (for compelling reasons in the story), Annabelle, the widow, and Matthew must set out on a journey together.

The story is the revelation of Annabelle’s reformed chaste heart and Matthew’s embittered prostituted heart. Eventually, Matthew comes to see Annabelle for who she is now, not for her past. And he realizes his need to be renewed in his heart even though his body is “chaste.”

Rachel: I love this! Such a picture of the gospel. We think we’re good because we “obey” the rules but our hearts are bitter. Then there are those who’ve messed up in the worst way but walk in the grace of God.

Author Deborah Raney added this insight.

Deb: “The approach to sex is very different in Christian fiction—especially contemporary fiction—since the idea that sex should be reserved for marriage is pretty much a Christian concept, and not embraced by the rest of our culture…at least not in the U.S. or Europe.”

Rachel: But one’s virginity or lack of doesn’t need to be center stage in a story.

Deb: No. In my first Chicory Inn novel, Home To Chicory Lane, I briefly referred to the hero and heroine having been virgins when they married.

This scene is from the hero’s point of view as he is making love to his young wife for the first time after a separation because of marital problems.

Struggling to restrain himself, aware of how tender she needed him to be, he kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her fingers that were now stroking his lips, his face. But she was as hungry as he was, and her mouth found his like a homing beacon. 

She groaned. “Chase… We need…we need to talk.” She was breathless, the way she’d been on the wedding night they’d both waited for. Waited so long for.

Her urgency was a gift, and he pulled her closer, shushing her with a palm to her lips. “Shhh, whatever it is, it can wait, baby. Come here.” He pulled her to the other side of the darkened room, shedding his jacket as he went. She did the same.

They moved in a beautiful frenzy—one they already knew by heart, but that somehow felt brand new tonight. He pulled her closer, feeling her heart beat hard against his. 

Rachel: What a lovely scene. The reader sees the reality of their passion but more important, feels their emotional intimacy.

So, Deb, what’s the power of a chaste hero?

Deb: I like their innocence and their sense of doing what is right, of not wanting to take something from the heroine—or from any woman—that she may not be ready to give. And if the hero is a Christian, I love that his obedience and dedication to God means more to him than fulfilling his own desires. The sex act isn’t what defines the chaste hero or even what makes him manly or virile. He knows who he is. He is probably already a leader in his business and his community. And he is confident that when the time and the woman are right, he will be a competent, skilled lover.

I especially love that when a virgin hero marries a virgin heroine, they both get to discover the beauty and gift of sex together…for the rest of their lives!

Rachel: Such a powerful image. And how secure must a woman feel to realize that if her man could hold himself in check before marriage, there’s a good chance he will do so after marriage, and in more than the arena of sex.

Author Becky Wade only tackles the subject of a character’s virginity, or lack thereof, when it seems necessary. If it impacts the character development or self-image. Otherwise, she opts to let the reader fill in the blank.

Becky: “The virgin or non-virgin label can potentially say more about a character than I want. Readers might jump to a lot of [perhaps faulty] conclusions about a character. For example, a virgin might be seen as inexperienced, naive, rule-follower, cautious, self-controlled, Godly, and no fun. On the other hand, they might assume a non-virgin is wild, worldly, sexual, adventurous, rule-breaker, selfish, fun, and ungodly. However, I think a hero grappling with his virginity would be a really fun challenge!

Rachel: I think it would. If it became some part of his journey or self image rather than a passing detail.

Becky: Right. I wouldn’t want to stereotype a male virgin as shy/bumbling/unsure/awkward. Nor would I want him to be some “holier than thou” guy. I want him to be confident and secure in himself. Desirable. Honorable. He’d have solid reasons for remaining a virgin, which means that he’d likely be someone who thinks things through, weighs his options, and stands by his decisions. Patient. Sacrificial. He may be a romantic if part of his choice to remain a virgin comes from the belief that there’s one specific woman for him and he wants to be with only her. Or he may be lonely and hungry for a deeper relationship than premarital sex can offer.

Rachel: I like this hero already!

Ronie Kendig, author of military suspense and fantasy, leaves the characters sexuality up to the reader.

“I don’t go into a story thinking, ‘Oh, he’s a virgin.’ In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever focused on that. And I’m not sure I’ve ever said that about any character. I guess because, to me, that puts the emphasis on the wrong place. It seems to make the brain more attuned to the physical instead of the heart.”

Rachel: Love your take, Ronie!

Ronie: For my guys, it’s also a matter of honor. They show honor in every other area of their lives, and restraint, too, so not to show it there, is a breakdown of their characterization. However, I have had heroes who “back in the day” weren’t that “honor” driven.

Tips for writing the male virgin

1. Make sure you’ve shored up your motivation. Despite the Biblical belief sex is designed for marriage alone, don’t make your hero “holier than thou.” While in real life, guys may wait because it’s the right thing to do, show the heart of your hero. Give him strong motivation. He wants to honor women. He wants to honor God. He is a romantic who believes in the one woman for him.
2. Perhaps your hero is not a virgin. But he’s rebuilding his life, changing his ways, he’s come to faith and wants to wait for the right girl and marriage. Show desire yet show restraint.
3. The male virgin can inspire women to wait for sex. To honor the men in their lives.
4. The chaste hero is one who honors a woman with his body.

When should you write a male virgin? When it fits the story. We’re not writing agenda fiction. We want to write honest, real stories about flawed human beings.

Consider a male virgin if:

1. You want to create sexual conflict. Like Tammy’s Revealed or Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander.
2. A marriage of convenience story.
3. A redeemed hero story.

But if the sexual status of your hero doesn’t matter, don’t write about his status just because your story is from a Christian world view. Let the story itself do the showing. Let the sexual context be true to the character journey.

Now, go write something brilliant.