Finding Balance With Writing & Life: Saying No & Letting Go

My grandparents owned a dairy farm. When my siblings and I were younger, we’d play in the barn with our large extended family. My cousin, who was a year older and my closest friend at the time, used to convince me to follow her across the barn beams suspended above the hayloft.

We’d practice our gymnastics routines, even though neither of us had any training. As we stood above our adoring audience of barn cats, we’d extend our arms and put one foot in front of the other to make our way across the rough-cut beams. Despite our stupidity, God’s angels shrouded us in safety.

Balance was the key to moving forward without tumbling to the hay-scattered wooden floor about 30 feet below.

The same goes for a writer’s life.

The week I received “the call,” I had participated in a Monday night chat where Beth Vogt had posted a quote that really spoke to me. I don’t remember the exact quote, but it prompted me to make changes in my life. I could hear God whispering He had something more in store for me, but my plate was so full already.

I spent a day in prayer and contemplation, and then set about releasing some additional responsibilities. Two days later, my agent called with a contract offer for my debut novel.

Finding balance in our everyday lives can be a constant struggle, especially when we have many responsibilities such as family, work, church while striving to achieve our dreams.

For the past fifteen years, I’ve been a stay-at-home-work-at-home mom, owning and operating a state-registered child care program. And now I add a writing career on top of that. Running two businesses is a challenge. And without the support of my family, I wouldn’t be able to do it.

For the past two years, two things have kept me somewhat sane—learning to say no and taking time for myself.

I’m a people pleaser. I say yes to a lot of things because, well, I want to make others happy. Plus, if I can use my abilities for others, that’s good, right? Not so much if I’m headed toward burnout.

Saying no can be a challenge, especially if you’re afraid of letting someone down or feel guilted into shouldering a new responsibility. But the thing is you need to ensure you’re not wearing yourself out. Saying no reduces your stress by releasing time-consuming responsibilities you may not enjoy. Besides, by saying no, you’re allowing someone else to be blessed by taking over that role. You don’t have to say no to everything, but say no to things that steal time away from pursuing your goals.

Before planes take off, flight attendants instruct passengers on safety features in the event of a crash. They instruct them to don the oxygen masks before helping others. The first time I heard that, I thought it was selfish until I realized we needed to make sure we were fit to take care of others.

The same goes with finding the balance in your life.

Before you can take care of others, you need to make sure you’re caring for yourself. This means getting enough sleep, eating right and perhaps even exercise. Yes, I heard those groans. I’ve mumbled them on many occasions.

Also, no matter how full your calendar may be, you need to schedule in downtime to relax and refresh your spirit and creativity. If you’re on the go from the time your feet hit the floor in the morning until you fall into bed at night, then you’re going to be too worn to care for yourself, let alone anyone else.

Learning to say no to obligations that will steal time away from pursuing your dreams and taking time for yourself may seen easier said than done at first, but once you put it into practice, you’ll be on your way to finding that balance to keep from falling off the beam.

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Voices Ezine Editor and Bleachers Forum Hostess, Lisa Jordan

Author Lisa Jordan serves as My Book Therapy’s Forum Hostess and Voices e-zine editor. A romantic from an early age, Lisa married her real-life hero. Together, they raised two young adult men. She writes ontemporary Christian romance for Love Inspired. Her debut novel, Lakeside Reunion, comes out in November 2011. Her second novel, Lakeside Family, will be released in August 2012. When she isn’t writing romance, she enjoys family time, good books, romantic comedies and crafting with friends. To learn more about her writing, visit her site at www.lisajordanbooks.com. Contact her at: lisa@mybooktherapy.com.

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