Techniques for Layering Emotion into your scene: Action


“I’m getting the feeling you don’t love me anymore.” Sally sat down, smiling, into her chair at the coffee shop. 

“I love you.  I just love my friends at ACFW and MBT too,”  I said from the coffee counter.  Between school starting and the various writers conferences over the past two months, we’d barely had time to chat.  

“Prove it,” she said. “Show me the love.”   

“I’m here, aren’t I?”  I was dressed in a football sweatshirt, wearing my Uggs and old jeans. “On my way to a football game. Doesn’t that say love?”  

She raised an eyebrow. 

“Which brings me to the topic of our conversation today – showing emotions through action. And I’m not talking about facial expressions or even physical reactions. I’m talking about powerful actions we give our characters to reveal what they feel. 

“The last time we chatted, we talked about how to embed emotions into your scene.  We covered the subtle use of storyworld to create a mood and other people to mirror your characters emotions. And, before that, we talked about how to show and not tell in regards to emotions. 

“However, the strongest way to show emotions is through action. Big actions and small actions that can reveal the depth of emotions for your character.  

“Here are some examples I’ve used recently:

“In my book, You Don’t Know Me, out this week, I have Annalise, a woman who is always trying to “cover up” her past, painting the dark wood paneling in the basement.  Later, after a fight, I have Nathan, her husband, go out running, a metaphor for his desire to escape his problems. 

“In another scene, Helen, my older heroine, makes apple pie for her friend, Frank from apples from her tree.  Helen wants to build a life with Frank, and her offering of pie is a way to reveal the desires of her heart.  

“These “big actions” provide the framework for the inner desires of my characters and help me set the scene appropriate for their current state of emotions. 

“You can also create “small actions” that reveal their emotions.   

“In this scene, Annalise is feeling stuck, and emotionally raw and helpless. So, I put her in the kitchen, creating these feelings in the words and actions of scrubbing out the Sunday afternoon football dishes.

Annalise dumped the gnawed chicken wings into the trash, then set the tray in the sink. She squirted dishwashing liquid onto it, turned the hot water on full blast. The barbecue sauce from the wings needed soaking to work free.

Behind her in the next room, opposite the kitchen, her family cheered on the Sunday night game. The Eagles were down against the Patriots by one touchdown late in the third quarter.

Based on the roar of her crowd, the Eagles had just managed a fantastic run. Or catch. Or something. Not that she cared oh-so-much about football, but Nathan loved it, so she did too.

Or pretended to.

Her life had become one big game of pretend.

At least it suddenly seemed like it. Three days ago, it felt real and right and whole. Three days ago she was Annalise Decker. Today she felt like Deidre O’Reilly.

And today she wanted to call her mother. To hear her voice, to tell her how sorry she was, every day, over and over.

She picked up a scrubber and began to attack the pot, not caring how the hot water scalded her. 

 

“Here, Annalise longs to turn back time, keep Colleen young, and repair their broken relationship. So, she climbs into bed with her teenage daughter, just like she might have when she was six, and holds onto her.

Colleen had closed her door, and Annalise listened a moment before she turned the handle and eased it open. Colleen lay on her side, curled into her covers. Annalise couldn’t stop herself. She tiptoed into the room and climbed onto the bed, molding herself to her daughter’s frame, tucked under the covers.

Her daughter breathed the rhythmic melody of slumber. Annalise draped her arm over her body, settling it lightly. Colleen didn’t stir. Then Annalise closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet smell of her skin as she listened to the words of their fight.

“Consider both the big picture scenes, and the smaller actions that can contribute to revealing the emotions of your character.  Remember, show don’t tell is directly related to emotion – so use your storyworld, other character and powerful actions to help us feel the emotions of your characters.”

“Here’s your latte,” Kathy, our barista said and handed me a spiced chai pumpkin latte.  I handed it to Sally. “These are your favorite, right?” 

She laughed.  “Okay, you win.” 

 

Truth:  Revealing emotions in your character is a subtle, complex equation of the right scene, the right setting, the right actions and the right characters. 

Dare: Take the MBT Challenge and write the scene without naming the emotion. Instead, embed the feeling into the scene and it will also embed your reader.

Happy Writing!

Susie May 

P.S.  If you are writing a story and need a kickstart or hands-on coaching, consider joining us at the annual MBT Storycrafter’s Retreat, October 19-21st, Minneapolis, MN.  http://storycrafters.mybooktherapy.com

 

P.P.S  Would you like to get FREE one-time 24 hour access pass to the MBT Advanced Team Member Locker Room and discover what all the buzz is about? Click on http://www.mybooktherapy.com/mbtopenhouse/ and we’ll also invite you to Thursday Night’s Open House!

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *