by Beth K. Vogt, @bethvogt

As novelists, we’re told to weave five senses into our stories. To ensure our readers know what our characters see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. 

May I just say, proceed with caution, writer friends, proceed with caution?

When you’re layering in sensory details don’t go all Kirkland’s on your readers. 

Kirkland’s, Beth? Really?

Stick with me.

Kirkland’s is a fun store with a variety of great products. I recently bought a beautiful mango wood table at Kirkland’s. But when my husband Rob first suggested we shop there, I told him I could stay in the store five minutes, tops. 

Why? 

Because Kirkland’s overloads you with aromas. Candles. Sachets. I don’t know what else they scent those stores with. Anyone else been to a Kirkland’s recently – or ever? You know what I mean. I have asthma—well-controlled—but I walk into Kirkland’s and I’m a goner. 

Rob and I entered the store, spotted the table, and I left while he completed the transaction.

Let’s apply my shopping experience to our writing.

The last thing you want is for readers to be so overwhelmed by the sensory details in your scene that they put your book down and walk away.

Let’s say you’re writing a scene that takes place in a hair salon. (Yep, I just got my hair done.) You have five senses to weave into this scene, but remember, you don’t want to overpower your readers. One suggestion is to first list a variety of things your point of view (POV) character might experience. If my POV character is the woman getting her hair cut, the list might look like this:

• Sight: beautician, hair blower, chair, mirror, hair foil, hair clips, scissors, brush, comb, wet hair, shampoo, her face in the mirror
• Sound: other customers talking, phone ringing, conversation with hair stylist, someone crying (OOH! Hair disaster!), door opening and closing, dog barking (Someone has a dog in the salon?)
• Smell: chemicals, food, coffee, shampoo/conditioner, hair drying
• Touch: damp towel, stylist touching her hair, clips in hair, plastic cape over her shoulders, hair falling against her face/neck, hot air from blow dryer, tears (Why is she crying?), the plastic of the chair, chair being pumped up and down
• Taste: coffee or tea or soda, dry mouth (Why is she nervous about this haircut?), gum, water

Next, consider the main emotion of the scene and then consider what things from your Five Senses List help convey that main emotion. Again, don’t use everything. Also, don’t use all five senses, but don’t limit yourself to one. We automatically go to the sense of sight. Challenge yourself to pick two to three of the five senses and weave them through the scene in a way that heightens the emotion of the scene. 

Example: if my POV character is nervous about her haircut, I might utilize the sharp snip of the scissors (sound), dry mouth (taste), hair dropping against her face and shoulders (touch). What about you? Consider a current scene you’re writing. Evaluate your use of the five senses and make sure you haven’t overloaded the scene so much that you drive your readers away.

 

---

Dedicated to the One I Love

Beloved romance novelist Kylie Franklin walked away from her pen-name career as bestselling and award-winning Veronica Hollins the day her husband died. Her loyal readers are eager for the final book in her sensational series. But Kylie’s given up on love, both fictional and in real life. Behind her back, Kylie’s agent contrives a way to get her writing again.

Joe Edwards has made a name for himself with his popular military suspense novels under the pen name Tate Merrick. Yet he can’t quite break onto the bestseller list. What his books need, his publisher suggests, is some romance. Joe flat refuses. However, his publisher is determined and hires Veronica Hollins to save the day—and his career.

Veronica and Tate quickly realize they’re Kylie and Joe, good friends who connected online via a popular word game and their mutual love of trivia. Surely they can wrangle their alter egos into this literary collaboration. But as the deadline looms, their differences threaten the romance developing off the page.

Beth K. Vogt believes God’s best often waits behind the doors marked “Never.” She’s authored 15 novels and novellas, both contemporary romance and women’s fiction. Beth is a Christy Award winner, an ACFW Carol Award winner, and a  RITA® finalist. Her newest contemporary romance novel, Dedicated to the One I Love, releases June 20, 2023. Her novel Things I Never Told You, book one in her Thatcher Sisters Series by Tyndale House Publishers, won the 2019 AWSA Golden Scroll Award for Contemporary Novel of the Year. An established magazine writer and former editor of the leadership magazine for MOPS International, Beth blogs for Learn How to Write a Novel and The Write Conversation and also enjoys speaking to writers group and mentoring other writers. She lives in Colorado with her husband Rob, who has adjusted to discussing the lives of imaginary people. Connect with Beth at bethvogt.com.