By Lisa Phillips, @LisaPhillipsbks
Like children who should be seen but not heard, feelings should be present on every page of your novel or story.
Emotions. Angst. Torment. Conflict.
We’re supposed to include them, but not tell them or state them. There seems to be a whole lot of Don’ts and not a lot of advice for how to do it, and do it well.
One of the biggest things writers seem to struggle with is adding depth to the story, or scene—depth to the character. I firmly believe there is ALWAYS a way to make whatever I’ve written better, and the same goes for you.
The character walks onto the page wanting something. They’re planning to do something. And they have feelings about it—tied to WHY they need to do this. Because a character without a goal isn’t someone we can root for. A character who feels nothing, and just goes through the motions, isn’t someone I can connect with as a reader.
Done well, emotions give your POV character agency.
Emotions—and drive—give your side characters a reason for hanging around like moochers who want their own book. (As if we have time for that.)
Here’s two quick—and hopefully simple—ways to add that emotional layer to your story or scene:
- Why does it matter?
In the scene you’re writing, ask the POV character why what’s happening matters to them. If it doesn’t, either cut them or the scene. Picture this, they show up in the scene wanting something, but something goes wrong—some conflict arises that keeps them from their goal. Why does this interruption that will spell failure for them matter?
Are they trying to get life saving medicine from a pharmacy? If they fail, the person might die!
Is your pov character interrogating an accomplice to your suspect? If they don’t get answers from this person, more innocent lives will be in danger!
Once you figure out why it matters, layer this into your character’s thoughts and actions. Instead of stating an emotion, Sarah felt desperate. She had to get that medicine! layer the desperation into her actions and words. The reader is smart enough to put together why she’s grabbing the armed robber and yelling, “I don’t have time for your crime!” instead of cowering in fear.
- Deep emotions.
We’ve all read a book full of heart pounding running characters trying to escape a bad guy. Snooze. After reading a few of those it can feel like same-old/same-old stuff. There aren’t that many ways to show fear without getting shaky hands dropping the keys on the ground when the character needs to get inside the house. Or roiling stomachs. Or gasping breaths.
Your character is showing their feelings. Great.
What else is there to do when you’ve done what you’re supposed to?
If you’re interested in digging deeper, how about this: consider what the emotion is below the surface. On the page we have all our heart pounding, hand shaking, gasping breaths. But what’s going on under that? Is the character running from a person she knows, or doesn’t know? Explore that.
Ask her what she’s feeling below the fear? Regret. Shame she never realized he was like this. Frustration she hasn’t been able to ID him yet.
Now ask what else she’s feeling? Alone. Determined.
Would a better person than her feel alone? What might a better person than her feel? Explore that should’ve, could’ve, expectation she’s lived her whole life under.
Now the character can react to the situation based on that. Maybe she runs for help, or calls for a friend. Maybe she turns the tables on the bad guy and fights back, taking the power back in her hands again so she can be strong even though she is alone. Now she’s breaking expectations and instead of simply reacting to the threat, she’s taking action and fighting back.
I wrote a book called COLD DEAD NIGHT, where the main character’s backstory involved her and her FBI agent partner being kidnapped by a serial killer, which resulted in his death. In the present of the novel, the main character dreams of this event. When she wakes up, heart pounding and swallowed up by grief, her chief emotion in that moment…gratitude.
Not the emotion you’d expect after a nightmare. I added a deeper layer to the scene. One day the memories will fade, but for now she gets to remember the time she had with him.
Now it’s your turn!
The FBI might’ve buried the truth, but she’ll find it.
Private Investigator Kenna Banbury walks into a courtroom—and finds herself in the middle of a case. She’s looking for a missing young woman no one seems to know and hunting an elite organization that held an entire town in its grip. Something quite different is happening in Hatchet, New Mexico, and Kenna doesn’t have much time to untangle how it all fits together.
Before a deadly killer strikes again.
When someone close to her is threatened, Kenna signs on for a protection detail that quickly turns into a deadly game. She vowed not to let anyone else die for this case. This shadowy organization has already taken too many lives, and she’ll face losing even more before this is over.
Unless Kenna can bring her brand of justice.
USA Today and top ten Publishers Weekly bestselling author Lisa Phillips is a British expat who grew up an hour outside of London. Lisa attended Calvary Chapel Bible College, where she met her husband. It wasn’t until her Bible College graduation that she figured out she was a writer (someone told her). Since then she’s discovered a penchant for high-stakes stories of mayhem and disaster where you can find made-for-each-other love that always ends in happily ever after.
Lisa can be found in Idaho wearing either flip-flops or cowgirl boots, depending on the season. She and her husband have two kids and two dogs.
Find out more at www.authorlisaphillips.com