By Mollie Joy Rushmeyer, @mollierushmeyer

I debated calling this “Learn From My Mistakes: How to Avoid a 10,000-Word Trim Down in 72 Hours,” but it seemed a mouthful. But know that I’m writing this from my own deep need to refine my writing and continue learning how to/where to trim. I want to share this with other writers in hopes that they can avoid the need for a three-day editing/cutting marathon like the one I recently endured (of my own making). 

For me, writing a draft and editing it are two different things that require different parts of my brain and abilities. When I’m entrenched in the writing process, my brain is in “add” mode. Whereas, when I edit, I’m not necessarily in “subtract” mode, but I try to tap into a place of refining, clarifying, and weighing each scene with a sculptor’s eye. What needs to be there? What needs to be trimmed back to see the beauty underneath the extraneous fluff? It’s not easy, folks. You know it, I know it. 

It’s difficult to see how to cut the story without injuring it, especially if the editing follows the writing without much break in between. You might still have those rose-colored glasses on (i.e. the “I just birthed this book baby into existence so it must be okay” glasses). I get it, mine were firmly in place after I finished two drafts of a whopping 102,000-word book baby last weekend before the surgical removal of words. 

So, here are some tips for recognizing overwriting and how to remove it from your story (for which, I say a big “thank you” to my agent, who is an expert on these and patiently points them out to me).

You may be overwriting if:

• You’re showing AND telling. Showing someone slamming their fist onto a table and having them say they’re angry is overkill. Let the action speak for itself and the words can add to the tension without spelling out the emotion.
• You have pet words or phrases. These are easy enough to cut out by using the search function in Microsoft Word, Scrivener, etc. Words like just, that, “uh” or “um” in dialogue are unnecessary and take up your word count.
• You’re taking the long road to say something instead of the shorter, snappier version. Does longer, beautiful prose have its place? Sure. Evoking emotion through the description of the setting or diving into deep POV through narrative can build a connection to the characters and convey the nuances of the plot. But if the longer passages don’t further the story and hinder the flow, it may be time to trim. Take a look at these sentences from my WIP and how they were revised: 
  • Original: Lanae responded with a beatific smile and whirled into the room, flicking on the lights.
  • Trimmed: Lanae whirled into the room, flicking on the lights.
  • Original: “I hope that we can put aside our differences at least for now so we can work together to find Grandma June’s lost manuscript.”
  • Trimmed/Refined: “Hopefully, we can put our differences aside for now and work together to find Grandma June’s lost manuscript.” (Maybe not a lot shorter, but still less convoluted.)
  • Original: There was a slight loosening of the key as the women pushed upward.
  • Trimmed/Refined: The key loosened as the women pushed upward.
• You’re using passive voice and wimpy verbs &/or adverbs. There’s a time and a place for any of these word types but beware of relying on them. 
  • He went quickly to the store. Vs. He sprinted to the store.
  • She got her phone out of her pocket, but couldn’t get any reception. Vs. She retrieved her phone from her pocket. No reception.
  • Check out this excellent article from Jerry Jenkins with more examples: https://jerryjenkins.com/powerful-verbs/

I hope these examples and learning from my mistakes will help you as you trim your word count and create a more concise, impactful story. To refine something, like gold, you must remove the impurities through fire or chemical agents. In much the same way, we as writers remove the superfluous words to make the story shine. Blessings to you as you do just that.

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The Bookshop of Secrets

A collection of lost books holds the clues to her family’s legacy…and her future

Hope Sparrow has mastered the art of outrunning her tragic past. Never stay anywhere too long, never allow anyone control over her life again. Coming to Wanishin Falls in search of her family’s history already feels too risky. But somewhere in the towering stacks of this dusty old bookshop are the books that hold Hope’s last ties to her late mother—and to a rumored family treasure that could help her start over.

Only, the bookshop is in shambles, and the elderly owner is in the beginning stages of dementia and can’t remember where the books lie. To find the last links to the loved ones she lost, Hope must stay and painstakingly search the stacks for the treasured volumes. Each secret she uncovers brings her closer to understanding where she came from. But the longer she stays in the quaint town, the more people find their way into the cracks in her heart. And letting them in may be the greatest risk of all.

Mollie Joy Rushmeyer writes “Contemporary Fiction with a Heart for History.” What does this mean exactly? She loves to write inspirational fiction in contemporary settings with fascinating historical elements, people, objects, and stories woven throughout. A modern girl herself, she wouldn’t want to go a day without modern plumbing. But she’s always felt a special connection to the past. The legacies and lives left behind are like gifts waiting to be unwrapped, and shares this blend of history and contemporary living with readers.

A born and bred Midwestern gal, Mollie, makes her home in Minnesota with her husband and two spunky daughters. She is not only a bibliophile (the dustier the better, in her opinion), she’s a true anglophile at heart. Tea and coffee fuel her travels, by Google maps at least, and her passion for the written word.

Her debut novel with Love Inspired Trade/Harlequin will release October 25^th, 2022.

She’d love to connect through social media: Facebook and Instagram

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