by Angela Ruth Strong, @AngelaRStrong

T’was the night before deadline, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, except my computer mouse.

The wordcount hung over my head in fear,
And I dreaded “The End” was not even near.

My publishers were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of bestseller danced in their heads.

My critique partners on Zoom, and I in my thinking cap,
Had just settled in, trying to fill a plot gap.

When out on social media, notifications chimed,
I let myself be distracted for the nine-millionth time.

Away to Microsoft Windows I flew like a flash,
Clicking open my apps, down the rabbit hole I dashed.

The sip from a mug of steaming French roast,
Gave the energy of midday to my comments and posts.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a link to a website about a brilliant writing year.

With a lively blonde woman, so prolific and fun,
I knew Susan May Warren had to be the one.

More rapid than Kermit, her fingers could type,
She brainstormed, and networked, and taught us on Skype.

"Now, dialogue! Now, description! Now, punctuation and grammar!
On indie! On traditional! On hybrid, it all matters!”

"To the top of Amazon! The Christy, the Carol!
Em-dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As exclamation marks before track changes fly,
When they meet with an editor who tells them goodbye;

Up to the project board, my goals they flew,
With plans for success, inspiration renewed.

And then in a twinkling, I opened the blog.
Its bright light of wisdom cut through all my brain fog.

As I scrolled through advice, my own knowledge paled.
I noticed a toolkit, including more than hammers that nailed.

It was offered for free, to authors advanced,
Another package for new writers to take a chance.

A bundle of classes for the price of one,
Enroll today, and you’ve already begun.

Get published – what a promise! Stay published, how merry.
If only I’d prepared here, I wouldn’t be in query.

My droll little novel tied up with a bow,
The message of my story now pure as the snow;

The climax and resolution fell right into place,
The character arc of a hero made my heart race.

It had strong symbolism, mirrored my opening scene,
With humor and irony, as dramatic as a queen.

My book was all there, treasure to be discovered,
And I laughed when I imagined its shiny hardcover.

All the lightbulbs popping on over my head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
Filled all my pages; sent it in with a jerk.

And folding my hands to offer a prayer,
I thanked the good Lord above for getting me there.

I sprang from the desk and did a Snoopy dance.
I’d survived my own black moment by the seat of my pants.

I shut down my computer after closing the website.
Happy rough draft to all, and to all a good rewrite.

---

Husband Auditions

In a world full of happily-ever-after love, Meri Newberg feels like the last young woman on the planet to be single, at least in her Christian friend group. So when she’s handed a strange present at the latest wedding–a 1950s magazine article of “ways to get a husband”–she decides there’s nothing to lose by trying out its advice. After all, she can’t get any more single, can she?

Her brother’s roommate sees the whole thing as a great opportunity. Not to fall in love–Kai Kamaka has no interest in the effort a serious relationship takes. No, this is a career jump start. He talks Meri into letting him film every silly husband-catching attempt for a new online show. If it goes viral, his career as a cameraman will be made.

When Meri Me debuts, it’s an instant hit. People love watching her lasso men on street corners, drop handkerchiefs for unsuspecting potential beaus, and otherwise embarrass herself in pursuit of true love. But the longer this game goes on, the less sure Kai is that he wants Meri to snag anyone but him. The only problem is that he may not be the kind of husband material she’s looking for . . .

Angela Ruth Strong sold her first Christian romance novel in 2009 then quit writing romance when her husband left her. Ten years later, God has shown her the true meaning of love, and there’s nothing else she’d rather write about. Her books have since earned TOP PICK in Romantic Times, been optioned for film, won the Cascade Award, and been Amazon best-sellers. She also writes non-fiction for SpiritLed Woman. To help aspiring authors, she started IDAhope Writers where she lives in Idaho, and she teaches as an expert online at WRITE THAT BOOK.