by Tari Faris, @FarisTari
Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash
Welcome back to the final instalment of this series. If you haven’t read the first three posts in this series I would encourage you to. You can find them HERE, HERE and HERE.
Today we are covering the last three writing habits that make you look like a beginning writer.
A lack of deep POV.
Deep POV has been a standard in the industry for more than 15 years now and yet I still see over and over that authors fail to have a grasp of what that means.
If you have never heard that term, it means taking a limited third-person POV deeper into their thoughts. Most authors realize that you can’t jump from one person’s thoughts to another in the same scene. But deep takes it a step further. Not only are you limited to the one person’s point of view but you are also deep in their thoughts and emotions. You see what they see, you hear what they hear, all their senses are your senses, and their thought your thoughts. Which means you don’t use the word like heard, saw, tasted, smelled.
For example, if my children run screaming through the house.
Not deep POV: Tari heard her children running screaming through the house, distracting her from her work. She was so frustrated because she hated working Saturdays. She felt the knots in her neck and looked at the clock. She thought it was time to take a break.
Do you see how distant that feels? Get closer. Think about what really happens in your head.
Deep POV: Her children’s screams of laughter pulled her mind from the computer. Working Saturday was the worst. She rubbed her neck as she checked the time. Maybe it was time for a break.
The second we are right there with her. In her thoughts feeling her frustration. Also, we let the reader infer her emotion instead of telling the reader. This brings me to the last thing to shake off if you don’t want to look like a beginning writer.
Show don’t tell.
This is probably the most overused phrase in writing ever. Probably because most use it wrong. When I was young, I was taught that this meant don’t tell us she opened the door show us.
She gripped the cool metal door knob and twisted it to the right until it clicked. Pulling it toward her, she peeked around the rough wood to see who was on the other side.
NO! Unless there is a serial killer on the other side. This is too much. We don’t care that much about her opening the door. Just say she opened the door.
Then what do we want you to show? Show the emotion of the character without telling us what it is. If you use adequate description, you won’t have to tell us we will just know.
Look at the Deep POV example again. We can see her frustration through thoughts and description. We don’t need to say that she is frustrated.
Now, look through your writing and highlight whenever you name the main POV’s emotion. Can you show it through action and dialogue without stating it?
I will admit that deep POV is more than what I mentioned above. But that is a good place to start. But there are many great classes and books on in and I encourage you to dive in. It will really strengthen your writing.
Oh and what is the seventh?
Dialogue Tags
You may have heard to avoid said. But using whispered, murmured, shouted… are just as bad. (if not worse)
Can you use them. Sure. I have used said and a few of the others, but use them sparingly when it is just what fits best. I think my last book had less than 10 “saids” and less than 5 of the whispered/murmured variety.
What do you use instead? Sometimes action tags.
Jon gripped his mug a little tighter. “Why are you here?”
That shows who’s talking and a little emotion like we talked about earlier.
If it is just two people talking you can leave some out – Every paragraph switches to the other person so you can have some fast banter that way. But if there are three or more people this gets too confusing.
Okay, that is my 7 ways to look like a beginning writer. What do you think I missed? Are there other things people need to add to their basic editing list?
Leah Williams is back in the quaint town of Heritage, Michigan, and ready to try again to make her business a success. But blank slates are hard to come by, and a piece of her past is waiting for her there. Heir to the Heritage Fruits company, Jonathan Kensington is the guy who not only made Leah’s past difficult, he also seems determined to complicate her present as well.
Jon is trying to prove to the Heritage Fruits board that he, not his manipulative uncle, should be running the business. The board insists Jon find a new owner for the building that will house Leah’s business. To avoid forcing a buyout of Leah’s part of the building, Jon strikes a compromise with Leah, and the two go into business together. With her vision and his know-how, it might work. And Leah might realize he’s loved her since high school. If only he didn’t keep on shooting himself in the foot by boxing her out of important decisions.
Sparks fly in this romantic story of two people who must learn to trust both each other and the one who called them to this journey.
Available now for preorder! And visit linktr.ee/tarifaris to sign up for preorder rewards!
Tari Faris has been writing fiction for fifteen years but has been creating fiction in her head as long as she can remember. She is represented by Wendy Lawton at Books & Such Literary Management and is a member of ACFW and My Book Therapy. She was the 2017 Genesis winner, 2016 Genesis finalist, and 2014 Genesis finalist. In addition to her writing, she also works for My Book Therapy as a special project manager and writes for LearnHowToWriteANovel.com . When she is not writing or working, she spends time with her amazing husband and kids. In her free time, she loves coffee, rockhounding with her husband and kids, and distracting herself from housework. You can connect with her at www.tarifaris.com