Do Men Have Emotions?

by Peter Leavell, @PeterLeavell

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

He was twenty years older than me, but he didn’t hold it against me. Instead, he talked. And chatted.

And babbled.

“Nope, never had much call for emotions.” He pointed his fork at me. “Ya see, emotions is a sign of weakness. Yup, those people who are always feeling all the time are bound to them feelings, and sure as day, they’re making all the wrong decisions based on some blasted e-mo-tion.” He shoved a heaping bite of casserole in his gaping maw. Between chews he said, “Won’t catch…me…run by…emotions.” He swallowed. “No emotions inside me.” 

His gaze lifted toward the waitress walking by. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and snatched his coffee mug. As she passed, he smacked the bottom of the mug against the table, then again, and again. Several people glanced our way, and in a moment, she returned with the coffee pot. He glowered at her as the cup filled. “Little more,” he muttered.

I made eye contact with her as she walked to another table, and I willed my apology in my look. I hoped the return smile meant all was okay.

“Blamed women can’t keep up. I was pert near outta coffee.”

Yowza. For a man so against emotion, the fellow was a veritable cacophony of raging ardency. I doubled the going tip rate.

Pride, arrogance, and anger filled this man. And digging deeper, I could find distrust, self-loathing, and fear that his way of life, an unattachment to the world around him, was under attack. 

The man who claims to be the most unemotional person on the planet is usually an emotional wreck. Much is made about men’s ‘nothing box’ where he can go to feel no emotions. Ironically, he enjoys this box, which is an emotion itself. A quick look at emotion studies and you’ll find men bear as many emotions as women. They simply will not or are not allowed to bare their emotions, a subject a novelist may find useful for a secondary character.

All your characters have emotions every second. Even the men. You may find that as you explore the emotional journeys of your male characters, your male readers will be more emotionally literate about their own feelings, which, as my buddy at lunch might say, “Yup, if emotions are a sign of weakness, then I reckon we’re all pretty weak.” A sign of human understanding and his need for community.


West for the Black Hills

Philip Anderson keeps his past close to the vest. Haunted by the murder of his parents as they traveled West in their covered wagon, his many unanswered questions about that night still torment him.

His only desire is to live quietly on his homestead and raise horses. He meets Anna, a beautiful young woman with secrets of her own. Falling in love was not part of his plan. Can Philip tell her how he feels before it’s too late?

With Anna a pawn in the corrupt schemes brewing in the nearby Dakota town, Philip is forced to become a reluctant gunslinger. Will Philip’s uncannily trained horses and unsurpassed sharpshooting skills help him free Anna and find out what really happened to his family in the wilderness?

Peter Leavell, a 2007/2020 graduate of Boise State University with a degree in history and a MA in English Literature, was the 2011 winner of Christian Writers Guild’s Operation First Novel contest, and 2013 Christian Retailing’s Best award for First-Time Author, along with multiple other awards. An author, blogger, teacher, ghostwriter, jogger, biker, husband and father, Peter and his family live in Boise, Idaho. Learn more about Peter’s books, research, and family adventures at www.peterleavell.com

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