by Patricia Bradley, @PTBradley1
In last month’s blog, Men aren’t Women with a Beard, I talked about some of the differences women need to remember when they write from the male POV. Here are a few tips on how men and women solve problems. Remember these are generalities. Not all men fit these descriptions; same for women.
In Social Situations remember that:
Men are goal oriented.
Women are community builders.
What does that mean exactly? A man sees something he wants and goes after it. He will rarely ask for help while women are more inclined to bring others into the mix. Men Systemize. Women Empathize.
Men are the lone hunters.
Women are communal.
I don’t think this one needs explaining.
Men are problem solvers.
Women are problem sharers.
I think this is one of the biggest ways men are different from women, both in the way they live and the way they try to help others. If a woman comes home from work and vents about a co-worker, her husband will more than likely tell her what she needs to do to solve the problem. Anything wrong with that? No…except she wasn’t asking for a solution—she was venting. She wanted her husband to agree with her, to validate her concerns.
Men rarely talk about a problem unless they’re seeking ‘expert’ advice, and when their wives bring them a problem, they’re the ‘expert’ so, of course, they’re going to tell them how to solve it.
Remember that men are emotionally divorced from problem solving, and women are emotionally involved in the process.
For men, help means failure.
Women want to help.
Men hate to ask for information because that makes them feel like a failure—it’s one reason they won’t stop and ask for directions when they’re lost. Whereas a woman doesn’t hesitate to ask for help when she needs it.
So, dear author, when your heroine brings a problem to the hero, don’t have him empathize with her—let him tell her how to solve the problem…which will create tension and conflict, and that’s what you want.
I hope these tips have helped you understand your characters a bit better.
Here’s a lighthearted look at the differences between men and women. Sorry it’s not the best quality, but it’s well worth watching.
Natchez Trace Ranger and historian Emma Winters hoped never to see Sam Ryker again after she broke off her engagement to him. But when shots are fired at her at a historical landmark just off the Natchez Trace, she’s forced to work alongside Sam as the Natchez Trace law enforcement district ranger in the ensuing investigation. To complicate matters, Emma has acquired a delusional secret admirer who is determined to have her as his own. Sam is merely an obstruction, one which must be removed.
Sam knows that he has failed Emma in the past and he doesn’t intend to let her down again. Especially since her life is on the line. As the threads of the investigation cross and tangle with their own personal history, Sam and Emma have a chance to discover the truth, not only about the victim but about what went wrong in their relationship.
Award-winning author Patricia Bradley will have the hairs standing up on the back of your neck with this nail-biting tale of obsession, misunderstanding, and forgiveness.
Patricia Bradley is a Carol finalist and winner of an Inspirational Readers’ Choice Award in Suspense, and three anthologies that included her stories debuted on the USA Today Best Seller List. She and her two cats call Northeast Mississippi home–the South is also where she sets most of her books. Her romantic suspense novels include the Logan Point series and the Memphis Cold Case Novels. Obsession, the second book in the Natchez Trace Park Rangers series, released Februrary 2, 2021. She is now hard at work on the third book, Crosshairs.
Writing workshops include American Christian Fiction Writers online courses, workshops at the Mid-South Christian Writer’s Conference, the KenTen Retreat where she was also the keynote, Memphis American Christian Fiction Writer group, and the Bartlett Christian Writers group. When she has time, she likes to throw mud on a wheel and see what happens.