Sarah Sundin, @sarahsundin
For years, my husband has dreamed of early retirement. I’ve dreaded it.
In August, his dream came true. In August, my productivity fell by half.
Something had to be done.
The year of 2020 has caused upheaval in so many households, with unemployment, remote work, and distance learning. We writers, who are used to writing at home, have had to adjust our actual work less than most—but many of us have faced more interruptions.
I love my husband. I love spending time with him. But I need to get my work done. It already takes me a year to write each book—I can’t afford to take two years per book.
Logic
First, I tried logic. He’s an intelligent man. I explained the concept of deep work and how vital it is to the creative work of writing a novel. He nodded. Nothing changed.
I reminded my retired pharmacist how every time I called him at work, I always asked if it was a good time, knowing he was busy and couldn’t be interrupted. I only wanted the same consideration. He nodded. I thought I saw a light dawn. Things changed, but only slightly.
Although logic didn’t work well for me, it has worked for many of my friends in similar situations. Since writing is a strange profession to most people and a lot of our best work is being done while we’re staring into space, a little explanation can go a long way.
Limits
Set office hours. This worked well when my children were home, and it’s worked well for me over the years explaining to friends why I’m not always available for social activities.
My husband and I discussed office hours and came up with guidelines we both liked. Since I’m not a morning person, I take care of communications and business stuff in the mornings. He’s free to interrupt as much as he wants in the morning. Also, he can chat with me whenever he sees me roaming during one of my breaks throughout the day. But afternoons are my designated writing time, my no-interruption zone.
This worked, but only to a limited extent. Interruptions still peppered my afternoons. My productivity remained low. I hate nagging—which never works anyway. But I was getting frustrated.
Rewards
One afternoon a few weeks ago, my husband entertained himself all afternoon. That evening I told him, “Thank you for honoring my office hours today. I got so much work done. I really appreciate it.”
He smiled. I smiled. Now we were getting somewhere.
On a whim, I said, “You get a sticker!”
He grinned like a little boy getting—well, getting a sticker. “A sticker? I get a sticker?”
Eureka.
Every day since, he brags about how he’s going to earn a sticker. Every evening, he rejoices over earning another sticker. He tells our mutual friends how many stickers he’s earning. It’s become a running joke in our social bubble.
And every day since, I’ve gotten tons of work done. Whenever he starts to interrupt, I just give him a teasing smile and ask him whether he wants a sticker. It works!
Please note, I haven’t yet given him any actual stickers. (Note to self: buy stickers!)
Your loved ones may or may not be motivated by stickers, but they’re motivated by something. Lovingly use that something as a reward. Maybe promise to play a board game with the kids if they don’t interrupt your writing time. Maybe plan a fun outing at the end of a productive week. Maybe make their favorite snack.
What have you found most effective for helping your loved ones respect your writing time? Stickers for everyone who comments! Virtual stickers, of course.
In 1943, Private Clay Paxton trains hard with the US Army Rangers at Camp Forrest, Tennessee, determined to do his best in the upcoming Allied invasion of France. With his future stolen by his brothers’ betrayal, Clay has only one thing to live for—fulfilling the recurring dream of his death.
Leah Jones works as a librarian at Camp Forrest, longing to rise above her orphanage upbringing and belong to the community, even as she uses her spare time to search for her real family—the baby sisters she was separated from so long ago.
After Clay saves Leah’s life from a brutal attack, he saves her virtue with a marriage of convenience. When he ships out to train in England for D-day, their letters bind them together over the distance. But can a love strong enough to overcome death grow between them before Clay’s recurring dream comes true?
Sarah Sundin is an ECPA- and CBA-bestselling author of World War II novels. Her novel The Land Beneath Us is a Christy Award finalist, The Sky Above Us won the 2020 Carol Award, The Sea Before Us received the 2019 Readers Choice Award from Faith, Hope, and Love, and When Tides Turn and Through Waters Deep were named to Booklist’s “101 Best Romance Novels of the Last 10 Years.”
A mother of three adult children, Sarah lives in northern California and enjoys speaking for church, community, and writers’ groups. She serves as Co-Director for the West Coast Christian Writers Conference. You can find her at http://www.sarahsundin.com