by Melissa Tagg, @Melissa_Tagg
I think we can all agree that the writing journey brings with it plenty of stressful moments. Can I get an amen? Whether it’s the stress of finishing a book by deadline or wondering if your marketing efforts are doing any good, this creative road we’re on comes with bumps and twists and moments of frustration.
And you know what? Sometimes stress is a good thing. In tiny, healthy doses, it works our muscles. That burn in your hamstrings when you’re doing squats—that’s what you want. It means the workout is, well, working out. (Ugh, I hate it, but’s true. My only tip for getting through the useful stress of exercise is cute workout clothes.)
That breathless moment when you open up a revision letter from your editor and realize you’ve got a lot of work in front of you, it can turn into a good kind of stress as you challenge yourself to grow as a writer. For some, the stress of a deadline is even a good thing—helping them write faster and freer. (I’m not one of those people. I wish I was. But I am not. Lol!)
But I think there are things as writers that we let ourselves stress out about that only serve to exhaust us mentally and take up space that should be reserved for creativity. Let’s take a look at a few of them:
- Newsletter un-subscribers: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen authors collectively getting frustrated about people un-subscribing from their newsletters. As someone who has worked for more than 12 years in the nonprofit marketing sector—with digital marketing as a huge piece of my job—I want to set you free from caring about this!
There are always going to be people who sign up for newsletters as part of a giveaway or promo and then unsubscribe immediately when they get their first email from you. Don’t let it bother you! Newsletters are a numbers game…this is why you always want to be building your list. When you’re focused on steadily building, you won’t care that twenty people unsubscribed because the other 380 who signed up due to your lead magnet or your giveaway promo stayed. Focus on the ones who stay. Write content for them. And don’t get frustrated or eagle-eye-fixated on the ones who unsubscribe.
- What other authors are doing: This is the biggest thing for me! When I was early in my author career, I was constantly looking at other authors—their social media, their marketing efforts, etc. I would feel awful when I wasn’t doing as much to promote my books as they were…or writing as quickly…or finaling in as many contests.
But over the years, it’s become clearer and clearer to me that comparing myself, my books, and my marketing to any other author is just pointless. It’s asking for needless stress. I’m so much happier and healthier and freer as a writer when I keep my focus forward on my own journey and upward on God’s guidance rather than looking side to side.
Stress management can be a challenge for many people, and some may turn to substances like marijuana for relief. While some individuals may find marijuana helpful in managing stress, it’s important to remember that this method is not without potential risks and side effects. It’s always a good idea to talk with a healthcare provider before using marijuana or any other substance for stress relief. In addition, there are many other strategies for managing stress that doesn’t involve substances, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones. For those seeking more information about stress management, I would recommend this site which offers a variety of resources and tips to help individuals manage stress in healthy and effective ways.
- Social media stats: Unless you’re a non-fiction author whose book sales are dependent on your online platform, please…don’t care too much about social media stats! I’m not saying don’t be active on Instagram or Facebook or wherever. But for real: Likes on a Facebook post or views on an Instagram story do not translate into sales. Go ahead and be on social media and have fun with it and enjoy connecting with readers…but don’t let it stress you out because it truly just doesn’t matter that much!
(Also, sidenote: I don’t see anything good coming from those apps that tell you who unfollowed you in a particular day or week. Legit—there’s no point in that other than making you wonder why they unfollowed or why they don’t like you or what you did to offend them. Just delete the app!)
- “My story is too much like…”: I think every author encounters this worry from time to time. We have what we think is a genius idea only to find out that So-and-so is writing something that sounds similar. We can let those worries completely derail us if we’re not careful and suddenly we’re replotting or rewriting and losing the spark that ignited our story in the first place. I think it’s worth reminding ourselves often that no one else can write our stories the way we can. If you find out someone is working on a project that sounds similar to yours, if you can, just let it go. Write the best story you—and only you—can.
Obviously this list could go on! As writers, we care about our craft and it only makes sense that we’re going to have moments when that care slips into stress. Sometimes the stress is warranted and even useful. Sometimes, as with the items I mention above, it’s needless.
But something I talk about often with a couple of my closest writing friends is the need to remind myself that writing was meant to be a gift. It’s something God gave me—gave us—and it’s meant to bring joy into our lives and the lives of others! We need to nurture it…by growing in our craft, yes, but also saying a determined no to the things that hold us back.
So set yourself free…and remember to have fun!
Last year, after traumatic circumstances forced her from her job as a nanny, Mara Bristol finally found a place to belong—the winsome Everwood Bed & Breakfast at the edge of Maple Valley, Iowa. For months, she’s helped its owner, Lenora, maintain the ramshackle property despite their shortage of guests. But when Lenora fails to return from a month-long trip and the bank threatens foreclosure, Mara worries she’s once again alone . . . abandoned . . . about to lose the only true home she’s ever known.
Detective Marshall Hawkins is no closer to whole today than he was two years ago . . . the day his daughter died. Between his divorce, debilitating migraines, and a dependence on medication, his life is falling apart. And when a reckless decision on the job propels him into administrative leave, he has no other plan but to get in his truck and drive. A one-night stay at the Everwood was supposed to be just that. But there’s something about the old house—or maybe its intriguing caretaker—that pulls him in.
Together, Mara and Marshall set out to save the Everwood. But its secrets run deeper than they could’ve imagined. As they renovate the house and search for its missing owner, they’ll each confront the pain that brought them to the Everwood in the first place . . . and just maybe discover a faith and love to help them carry on.
Melissa Tagg is the award-winning author of the popular Walker Family series, the Where Love Begins series and the Enchanted Christmas Collection. Her latest release, Now and Then and Always, kicks off a new series set in her beloved-by-readers fictional town of Maple Valley. Melissa is a former reporter, current nonprofit grant writer and total Iowa girl.
Melissa’s books include a 2018 ACFW Carol Award Winner (One Enchanted Noel), an RT Book Reviews TOP PICK (All This Time) and a Publishers Weekly Spring Top Ten Pick (Like Never Before).
Melissa has taught at multiple national writing conferences, as well as workshops and women’s retreats. When she’s not writing, she can be found hanging out with the coolest family ever (not that she’s biased), bookworming, watching old movies, and spoiling her nieces and nephews. Melissa loves connecting with readers at www.melissatagg.com and on Facebook and Instagram.