by Andrea Christenson, @andrea143
As writers we often joke about finding ourselves doing anything to avoid writing. We do the laundry, clean out the fridge, scrub at the grout in the bathroom with an old toothbrush. Anything!
Lately, I’ve been finding myself in the trap more and more often. “Just wash the dishes, then you can get a page of writing finished.” I say to me. “Throw a load of laundry into the dryer, then tackle those line edits.” But, after one chore another distraction comes and then another. Or, put more truthfully, I look for other distractions.
But, why?
Why do I do those things instead of the thing that fuels me? Instead of doing the only thing that will actually accomplish my goal of being an honest to goodness published author?
The answer, for me, is simple.
Fear.
I’m afraid of not finishing what I started. I’m afraid of writing poorly. I’m afraid of letting people down. But, mostly, I’m afraid no one will like what I have to say.
It’s a common enough fear, I think. The fear of not being liked. And when, as an artist, your ability to create is joined so tightly with who you are, the temptation is to believe that if someone doesn’t like what you’ve created, this in turn means they do not like you.
I’ve been finding this fear paralyzing.
However, I have deadlines to keep. Books to write. Blog posts to create. Reviews I’ve promised to compose. I can’t stay paralyzed. So, what can I, or another paralyzed writer do about it?
First, recognize the fear. When I find myself doing anything, everything, to avoid writing, I ask myself, “Is this just fear?” Occasionally the answer is “No, the house really is out of clean socks.” But, more often the answer is “Yes, I am avoiding that work.” I find that this acknowledgement can be enough to send me back to my writing desk, and spur me on. In the recognition of the specter it fades away.
Sometimes, though, the ghost of the fear of failure isn’t vanquished by its recognition and that calls for my second technique: knowing for whom I am writing. When I first started the book I am writing now I thought a lot about the people who would read it: my mom, my sisters, maybe even my teen daughters. Would it be too spicy for them? Would they think it was silly? Would they want to recommend it to their friends? This brought its own form of paralysis until I remembered a crucial truth.
“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Colossians 3:17 NLT
As a Christian, I am writing for an audience of One. I don’t need to be concerned about what everyone else thinks of me, I just need to remind myself of what God thinks of me. He loves me just as I am. When I remain in that love, and seek to use my talents for him, fear fades into the background.
What do you do when fear haunts you?
Andrea Christenson lives in Minnesota with her husband and two daughters. When she is not busy homeschooling her girls, she loves to read anything she can get her hands on, bake bread, eat cheese, and watch Netflix—though not usually all at the same time. You can connect with Andrea on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and on her website www.AndreaChristenson.com