by Lisa Jordan, @lisajordan
I Give Up: Three Words to Help You Grow as a Writer
“I give up.”
How many times have you heard someone say those three little words?
Three words. Seven letters. Two spaces.
But man, those simple words can destroy a writer’s dream.
Maybe your kids are frustrated over a homework assignment. Or maybe they struck out on the baseball field. Or perhaps a family member has been trying to lose weight and the scale isn’t budging.
Or perhaps you’ve been trying to get that novel completed but your characters aren’t cooperating. Or you’ve been trying to get an agent’s or an editor’s attention to no avail.
It’s so easy to give up, isn’t it? To walk away. To stop stressing.
Why do we give up?
Most of the time, it’s because we’re frustrated, discouraged, or unmotivated.
However, giving up isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Before you hit the delete button, keep reading.
Writers who want to succeed and build a thriving career need to give up the following:
- I give up comparisons. When we see our friends signing contracts, hitting bestseller lists, winning awards, getting books made into movies, it’s so easy to get caught up in that comparison trap. “If only I was a great writer like _______.” I’m sure each one of us could fill in the blank with a name or two. But here’s the thing—comparing yourself to someone else steals your joy and their blessing. God created each one of us with our own gifts, talents, and voice. Stop trying to be like someone else and focus on being the best writer you can be. The world is waiting for your voice and your stories.
- I give up the fear of risking failure. This is a tough one. No one submits a manuscript hoping to have it declined. We all want those contracts, advances, and royalty checks. But if we allow fear of failure to prevent us from moving forward with our careers…and risking those declines, then we won’t grow as writers. Allowing ourselves to feel all the emotions that go along with those declined proposals, low star reviews, and disgruntled readers will help us to grow as writers. I cried the first time an editor and an agent declined my manuscript. At the time, I grieved the loss of a dream, but actually, it wasn’t a loss, but a gain. You see, I took time to figure out why they had said no to my book proposals. I continued to write and polish, and now I’m published with seven novels and I’m being represented by my dream agent. I had to risk failure in order to learn how to succeed with getting those book proposals accepted. Oh, and just because I’m published, that doesn’t guarantee a yes for the next proposal I submit. I take a risk each time I brainstorm a story and submit it to my editor. I’ve had to rewrite proposals and recently, I rewrote an entire story. The gain was a much stronger book and a deeper relationship with my editor because I showed how to take a negative situation and turn it into a positive experience.
- I give up overthinking. Oh, man. This is one of my greatest challenges—overthinking. I tend to overthink my plot, people’s reactions, life situations. We need to stop. Just stop. When it comes to story, keep it simple. Get to know your character from the inside out and use his goals and motivations to create a compelling plot. Brainstorm with others to help see plot holes. When it comes to others—you are not responsible for their reactions, only your own. And life—well, we can’t change certain situations, can we? Like no one planned for a pandemic, did they? But we can adjust our attitudes and change our perspectives. What are you overthinking with your career? How can you work to change your perspective to grow as a more confident writer?
- I give up isolation. No one can write that story in your voice but you. Sure, writing can be a solitary occupation where you spend so much time in your head. However, with the power of the internet and social media, there are plenty of online writing communities you can join to find solidarity with other like-minded writers. Building relationships with writing friends and industry professionals organically will help you to grow as a writer and as a person. We were created for relationships—relationship with God and others. So while it’s fine to spend time in your head to get the story on the page, take time to step outside your comfort zone to build relationships with other writers. You may be surprised by the blessings God has in store for you.
- I give up not believing in myself. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was sixteen after reading an inappropriate book for my age, but the way the story made my heart feel, I knew I wanted to share that feeling with other readers. Even though it took twenty-six years from that first moment of epiphany, I didn’t stop believing in the dream God had placed on my heart as a teenager. I continually worked through road blocks. I believed God’s promise of having a plan and a purpose for my life to give me a hope and a future. I kept believing in Him, and that allowed me to believe in myself. If I don’t believe I can do it through Him or have a passion for the stories I want to tell, then how can I expect my readers to believe in my stories?
So, yeah, there are times when giving up is not the right choice, but giving up negative behaviors and thought patterns will offer freedom to help you grow as a writer and as a more successful person.
Just-for-now could become forever…
They agreed to help each other out.
No one mentioned falling in love.
Back home after losing her job, Isabella Bradley plans to stay only long enough to save her father’s diner, but she can’t do it alone. Her childhood friend Tucker Holland has the perfect solution—he will renovate the diner if she’ll be a nanny for his twins. But as Isabella and Tucker reconnect, their arrangement begins to feel a lot less temporary…
Heart, home, and faith have always been important to Lisa Jordan, so writing stories with those elements come naturally. Represented by Rachelle Gardner of Books & Such Literary Management, Lisa is an award-winning author for Love Inspired, writing contemporary Christian romances that promise hope and happily ever after. Her latest book, A Love Redeemed, releases in September 2020. She is the Operations Manager for Novel.Academy, powered by My Book Therapy. Happily married to her own real-life hero for over thirty years, Lisa and her husband have two grown sons. When she isn’t writing, Lisa enjoys family time, kayaking, good books, and being creative with her friends. Visit her at lisajordanbooks.com.