by Rebecca Yauger, @RebeccaYauger

I’m in a season of unrest right now. Some changes are looming on the horizon and there are decisions to be made, mainly about the direction of my writing career.

We all know how difficult writing can be. Most times, we push through those hard days. If we press on toward the goal of completing our manuscript, editing, then hopefully, publishing, then we’ll achieve our dream. 

However, there are times when those dreams seem far out of reach. We wrestle that we’re not good enough. Why would anyone want to read what I wrote? I’ll never be published. The list goes on and on. Sadly, many excellent writers quit because of doubt and fear. All writers have doubts. There are numerous blogs out there to encourage writers to keep going, to keep striving toward their goals. I’ve written a few myself. 

But now, I am in this place where I am purposely taking time off from writing on my novels. I will still be a student, take online writing courses, like going through Novel Academy’s classes. I will work on my personal blog, and at least write a little bit each day with a writing prompt or journal. In the meantime, though, I am setting my novels aside, and it’s scary to do that. Truthfully, I feel guilty for taking a break. What if I never come back to writing novels? Am I quitter? Am I using God’s gifts fully for His glory?

On the flip side, there’s a part of me that feels relieved. During this time off, I want to think about where I want to go with my writing. I hope to rekindle my joy and my love of it. I need to find my “why” again. It’s hard. If I step back, re-evaluate for the rest of the year, then I hope to find my passion again, to find my path for writing.  

I pray that it’s not fear that is blocking me from sharing this gift. I see my fellow author friends persevere and achieve their dreams. I watch musician friends have the courage to get on stage and share their gifts of worship. If any of you were at the ACFW conference in San Antonio last month, you know what I mean. They’ve all pushed past the doubt and are using their gifts.

If it’s a wall of doubt and fear that’s in front of me, then maybe by stepping back, I can renew the strength and determination it takes to bust down that wall. If I’m not meant to write novels, then I pray for the path to open in the direction I am supposed to go. 

It’s not fun being in limbo. It’s not fun feeling guilty for taking a break, when others continue to toil away. I’m on a different journey than you are. And you’re on a different journey than me. 

I know I need to find my own way. By stepping back, taking a time for renewal, I can look at my career with fresher eyes, and find the joy of writing again.

What about you? Have you ever taken a long break from writing? Was it beneficial? Or do you disagree with this strategy?

Rebecca Yauger worked for 15 years in radio and television broadcasting, before starting on her writing career. She’s been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Guideposts Magazine and continues to scribble away on various projects. She also blogs at www.TalkingAmongFriends.com. Becky was past Vice-President and Membership Director for American Christian Fiction Writers (www.acfw.com), and currently serves as ACFW’s Web Manager. Becky and her husband live near Dallas, have two grown children, and two beautiful grandchildren.