by Rebecca Yauger, @RebeccaYauger

I’ve started this particular blog post three times already. Sigh… it’s one of those times where I feel like I can’t write. Whether it’s from life distractions or only my lack of desire to write, or a combination of both, I don’t know. I’ve been pondering and praying and trying to find my lost motivation.

What if you can’t write?  As I’ve thought about this blog post, I found myself struggling more and more with my writing. I even sketched out a pretty decent post earlier but couldn’t seem to concentrate long enough to put the finishing touches on it. What is the matter with me? Why don’t I feel like writing?

I’ve seen it a million times before, whether in other blogs about writing, or at conferences: In order to be a writer, you must have your backside in the chair with hands on the keyboard. You have to write when the muse isn’t there. You have to give yourself permission to write badly if needed, knowing you can edit it later or toss it later.  One word leads to the next word. That’s how it should be done.

But lately, I can barely sit at my desk, or open my computer, or open my iPad or utilize any writing implements I have at my disposal. I just want to shake myself for not writing.

However, I also know, from the many blog posts I’ve read and from experience, that sometimes you do need to step back from your writing. Let things rest. Take a break and come back to your work with fresh eyes. That would be all well and good, if only I had work to come back to. I’m completely stopped in my tracks. 

Recently, while at my parents’ house helping care for them after a recent surgery, I saw a plaque hanging on their wall. It says “Don’t measure the size of the mountain. Talk to the one who can move it.” 

Those words struck something within me. 

In light of balancing time with aging parents (who live out of state), enjoying my grandchildren, and in general trying to keep up with work, church and life, I think I’ve let writing become a mountain in my way.  Anyone who has attempted writing knows that it is just plain hard. Especially as you dig in and try to make your novel (blog post, devotional, non-fiction, short story, article, etc.) the best it can be. 

As someone who loves mountains (they are a place where I find my peace), it’s surprising to me that I have a mountain blocking my path. And I’ve let myself be blocked. Am I allowing worldly things deter me from God’s path? Am I not prayerful enough? Do I doubt too much? Am I lacking the discipline to just sit down and do the work?  

If I’m honest with myself, it’s all of the above. 

I know there are times when you need to step back from things so you can return with a fresher spirit. In my case, I’ve stepped away to care for my parents. But while I was with them, I did a lot of soul searching. Even to the point of wondering if I’m cut out for this writing gig. Am I wasting time, or worse, wasting opportunities presented to me? 

I have a huge mountain in front of me. And there’s no way I can climb it by myself, or go around it, or move it. I can only talk to the one who can move it and try to find the path He has for me. 

For the moment, it’s a time to pray and see where God wants me. And maybe by pushing my way through this blog post, I can find a way to write some more. Maybe I can keep going on my other projects. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, is there a mountain blocking your path? What do you do when you’re unsure about the season you’re in?  Do you push through or take a break or some combination of both? I would love to hear from all of you. Perhaps we can help each other with any mountains we need to move.

Rebecca Yauger worked for 15 years in radio and television broadcasting, before starting on her writing career. She’s been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Guideposts Magazine and continues to scribble away on various projects. She also blogs at www.TalkingAmongFriends.com. Becky was past Vice-President and Membership Director for American Christian Fiction Writers (www.acfw.com), and currently serves as ACFW’s Web Manager. Becky and her husband live near Dallas, have two grown children, and two beautiful grandchildren.