by Hallee Bridgeman, @halleeb
It’s important in fiction writing to write actively – because doing so makes it much more interesting for the reader. When you write actively, the reader gets more easily caught up into the action of the story. It’s a cleaner way of writing that simply reads better.
However, when American English is our first language, we naturally speak passively. So, for me anyway, I tend to write passively.
Here is an example of passive versus active:
In the first example, the object being acted upon (the cream) becomes the subject. “The cream was poured…” In the active sentence, the subject (the barista) actively performs the action.
I know that the narrative in my final product should be as active as possible. I’ve never not known that. However, I have discovered that in my natural, letting my mind go and my story come alive, I tend to write passively. I learned the hard way that trying to write actively in my first draft completely and totally trips me up. I can do it, but it sucks my creativity out the window. So, I write passively, then edit to active. Because I tend to write passively, I have the daunting task of searching my final document for passive verbs and then making those sentences active.
Searching for passive verbs in a 100,000 word document is made more difficult by the fact that not every passive verb is in a passive sentence. For instance:
Her eyes were blue.
That sentence is a state of being. Her eyes were blue. It’s not a passive sentence.
However, there are ways to make her state of being more interesting.
Example: “Her blue eyes sparkled like the most precious sapphires.”
Her hair was brown.
It was just after 3 o’clock.
In the above examples, her hair is in a STATE OF BEING the color brown. The time was in a STATE OF BEING just past 3. It could be awkward or unclear to imbue either of the above sentences with action and they need not be revised. However, revision with an eye toward emotive action that also fits the narrative flow will improve the literary quality of the work.
Examples:
Her lustrous brown hair distracted him.
He barely noticed the passage of time until a glance at his watch revealed the hour had crept past three.
When fixing my document, I only change the passive verbs in the narrative. If it’s normal and natural for my character to speak passively, I leave it alone. It sounds right with speaking and in no way hurts the storytelling.
The Second Yes
Five of today’s Best-selling Christian Authors weave five unique, connected stories where wedding dresses come with unique adventures and touching “I do’s.”
Season of Surprises by Alexa Verde: The maid-of-honor and best-man embark on a journey to recover an heirloom wedding dress that was mistakenly sold. Along the way, the former high school sweethearts unexpectedly encounter danger, surprises, and a second chance at love.
Something Borrowed, Someone Blue by Chautona Havig: A borrowed dress, half-completed marriage counseling, and a last-minute theft lead up to the big day. Face it. Weddings equal stress for the families involved. Preachers, however, have it easy. Or so everyone thinks.
Black Belt, White Dress by Hallee Bridgeman: Deputy Sheriff and full time tomboy Traci Winston agrees to marry Taekwondo Master Travis Seaver, provided they exchange vows at 2000 feet while skydiving over the Grand Canyon. However, Traci’s mother has more conventional plans, and she finds herself trying on dresses and planning an elaborate ceremony in their hometown church complete with butterflies and cummerbunds. Can Traci manage to smile while walking down the aisle? Or will she collapse under the weight of girly ribbons and bows?
Sewn Together by Alana Terry: A family torn apart. A pregnancy that’s expected to end in heartache instead of joy. Despite hardship and trial, hope abounds in this heartwarming and inspirational novella full of love, faith, and miracles. The Second Yes by Amanda Tru: For top fashion designer London Hutchins, life so far sums up in her closet full of wedding dresses—one for each guy she’s ever dated. Moving back home to Crossroads seems so right, especially when she finds her high school sweetheart waiting there. London soon discovers that local bridal shop owner, Rhonda Snow, isn’t as nice as everyone says. A little harmless meddling to help a few of Rhonda’s clients couldn’t possibly hurt anything, right?
With more than half a million book sales, Hallee Bridgeman is a best-selling Christian author who writes action-packed romantic suspense focusing on realistic characters who face real world problems. Her work has been described as everything from refreshing to heart-stopping exciting and edgy.
An Army brat turned Floridian, Hallee finally settled in central Kentucky with her family so that she could enjoy the beautiful changing of the seasons. She enjoys the roller-coaster ride thrills that life with a National Guard husband, a college sophomore daughter, and two elementary aged sons delivers.
A prolific writer, when she’s not penning novels, you will find her in the kitchen, which she considers the ‘heart of the home’. Her passion for cooking spurred her to launch a whole food, real food “Parody” cookbook series. In addition to nutritious, Biblically grounded recipes, readers will find that each cookbook also confronts some controversial aspect of secular pop culture.
Hallee is a member of the Published Author Network (PAN) of the Romance Writers of America (RWA) where she serves as a long time board member in the Faith, Hope, & Love chapter. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and the American Christian Writers (ACW) as well as being a member of Novelists, Inc. (NINC).
Hallee loves coffee, campy action movies, and regular date nights with her husband. Above all else, she loves God with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength; has been redeemed by the blood of Christ; and relies on the presence of the Holy Spirit to guide her. She prays her work here on earth is a blessing to you and would love to hear from you. You find Hallee on her blog at halleebridgeman.com