by Kariss Lynch, @Kariss_Lynch

No matter where you fall in this writing journey, having a team in your corner is vital. I’m not talking about your street team, beta readers, or fans. I’m talking about the writers you are doing life with.

To clarify again, these aren’t the people you’ve given your business card to or talked to once. Those are valuable connections. But right now, I’m talking about valuable relationships. And I believe these relationships fall into a few different buckets.

• Mentors

Actor Denzel Washington is quoted as saying: “Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living—if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.” Find a writer you admire who is farther along than you are, and follow them. This particular relationship can look slightly different than the others. Because of the wonder of the internet, we now have access to articles, blogs, podcasts, vlogs, etc that help us to learn and grow. I have a few people I would consider “virtual mentors.” They are the people I may never meet, but I am a student of their process and their products. Then there are other mentors who I have had the privilege of growing relationships with in person. I don’t talk to them every day, or even every week or month. But I know they are in my court and available for questions or celebration when I need. They are busy with lives, too. But I know they are my people.

• Friends

This group probably has relationships that vary in depth. These are the relationships I build at conference. The cups of coffee shared between classes. The meals I plan to eat with the people I see once a year. I cheer them on via social media. Read their books. Tell my friends. I know these people get it, and I delight to spend time with them whenever I see them. Over time, they have morphed from a name on a card to a comradery and relationship.

• Confidants

C.S. Lewis once said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” It truly amazes me that somehow on this writing journey, the right people make their way into your life at the right moment and are a blessing in ways you never could have perceived. This particular group of friends needs their own category because they have burrowed deeper than once a year relationships. They are the ones on my text chain about all things life, reading, writing, families, etc. They are the ones I text when I am most discouraged and when I am thrilled. They get it. They brainstorm my stories with me. We swap our WIPs occasionally. They are the ones doing the writing life with me, albeit from a distance. They are invaluable.

Maybe you’re new to this writing journey. You may be wondering how you find these people, your people. Be intentional when you are around other writers. Be present. Be the kind of writer friend you want to find. Enjoy the others around you. Celebrate them. Empathize with them. This is a two-way street. Then watch the beauty that happens when the initial handshake and hello becomes a deep friendship with someone else called to this crazy journey. It takes time. It may be a commitment to a long-distance friendship. But these people…they are worth it. You don’t have to do this alone!

Kariss Lynch writes contemporary romance about characters with big dreams, adventurous hearts, and enduring hope. She is the author of the Heart of a Warrior series and loves to encourage her readers to have courage. In her free time, she hangs out with her family and friends, explores the great outdoors, and tries not to plot five stories at once. Connect with her at karisslynch.com, or on Facebook, Instagram, or Goodreads.