by James L. Rubart, @jameslrubart
A few weeks back, my friend Thomas casually said, “One of the biggest differences between successful people and unsuccessful people is their willingness to have tough conversations.”
I couldn’t get that thought out of my head the rest of the day. When I woke up the next morning I admitted to myself that Thomas is right.
I say, “admitted” because I’m not one that relishes hard conversations. (Oh, you too?)
Since I heard the quote, I’ve pushed myself to have three difficult conversations:
- One with Taylor in regards to our company, The Rubart Writing Academy
- One with a man regarding a real estate arrangement I’m in with him, that has been a huge weight around my wife’s and my neck
- One with a friend from junior high I knew I had to reach out to
Here’s the funny thing …
The conversations weren’t difficult.
With Taylor it turned into a rich discussion of where the Academy is headed from here, and how we can strengthen each other.
The real estate situation? The conversation couldn’t have been more amiable and within two months I should be free of the entire deal.
The friend from Junior High? We ended up having dinner together and our life-giving conversation lasted five hours.
What Made Me Wait So Long?
I’d created scenarios in my mind that weren’t even a shadow of what my three talks turned out to be. Bringing the talks up was a bit stressful, yes, but the actual talks?
No.
I feel like I’ve dropped three backpacks I’d been carrying around. I feel lighter. And I’m experiencing a liberation that had been there for the taking the whole time.
I realize I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. You know the truth will set you free. So why don’t we step into that freedom more often?
You know the answer.
Fear.
I have no idea what your conversation is …
- Maybe you need to have heart to heart with your spouse about this writing dream, and really communicate how important it is.
- Maybe it’s letting your critique partners know it’s time for you to move on and find a new group.
- Maybe you need to tell your agent or publisher you’re going to stop writing for a while.
- Maybe it’s telling a friend the truth about where they need to grow as a writer.
- Maybe it’s telling that group of friends you get together with every week that you’re not coming for a while because you have to use that time to focus on your manuscript.
Whatever the talk is, do it.
Will it always turn out easy? Nope. Will every talk be smooth? Of course not. But I promise the freedom you’ll feel afterwards will be worth it.
To you, and that hard conversation.
(If you’re saying, “Yes, I need to have some hard talks …” and you’re not exactly sure how to do it, my good friend Lori Roeleveld has a book coming out called The Art of Hard Conversations that dives into the subject full force. I highly recommend it.)
What if You Woke up One Morning and the Darkest Parts of Yourself Were Gone?
Toren Daniels vanished eight months back, and his wife and kids have moved on—with more than a little relief. Toren was a good man but carried a raging temper that often exploded without warning. So when he shows up on their doorstep out of the blue, they’re shocked to see him alive. But more shocked to see he’s changed. Radically.
His anger is gone. He’s oddly patient. Kind. Fun. The man he always wanted to be. Toren has no clue where he’s been but knows he’s been utterly transformed. He focuses on three things: Finding out where he’s been. Finding out how it happened. And winning back his family.
But then shards of his old self start to rise from deep inside—like the man kicked out of the NFL for his fury—and Toren must face the supreme battle of his life.
In this fresh take on the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, James L. Rubart explores the war between the good and evil within each of us—and one man’s only chance to overcome the greatest divide of the soul.
James L. Rubart is 28 years old, but lives trapped inside an older man’s body. He thinks he’s still young enough to water ski and dirt bike with his two grown sons, and loves to send readers on journeys they’ll remember months after they finish his stories. He’s the best-selling, Christy BOOK of the YEAR, CAROL, INSPY and RT Book Reviews award winning author of nine novels, a speaker, branding expert, co-host of the Novel Marketing podcast, and co-founder of the Rubart Writing Academy. He lives with his amazing wife on a small lake in Washington. More at jamesLrubart.com