How do you engage your reader into a story, capture their imagination from the first page, and immerse them in a fictional world? It’s more than setting, fashion and time period. Description can only bring you so far—you have to think deeper, about wrapping your character in what is called Storyworld.

 

This summer we’ve been diving deep into weak writing fixes, focusing on description.  We started with Storyworld, learning how to build it into an emotional/sensory experience.  (http://learnhowtowriteanovel.com/blog/category/search-by-series/extreme-book-makeover/weak-writing-fixes/)

 

Let’s take it deep and look at how to use powerful description as we build storyworld.

 

Let’s start with an understanding of Description and why we use it in a story.  Good description is: Sensory, specific, active, figurative and contains a sense of music or rhythm that acts as the musical score of the story.

 

Description brings us into the world and helps us understand the story. More than that, it helps us understand the story through the eyes of the POV character.  The key to strong description isn’t the words…it’s the words plus the perspective.

 

Creating StoryWorld takes the description deeper and is about wrapping your reader up in the world and helping them feel the world.  More than that Storyworld, done right, can help establish the emotion of the scene, enhance it and help a reader feel the character’s emotion.

 

So, what is storyworld? 

It’s the sounds, smells, tastes, touch, and rich, focused visual details that convey the impressions, opinions and overall state of emotion of the pov character, and in turn, the reader. 

 

Powerful Storyworld creation is a combination of finding the right storyworld to fit your scene, then putting it through the eyes of your character and setting up a framework of emotion for your reader. This is achieved in the very specific descriptions you use.

 

Here’s an example from Baroness.

 

The car splashed water onto the sidewalk, dribbling mud onto her dress, her stockings. (touch and sound)  She probably looked like a street waif, bedraggled, dirty, starving. Her hair hung in strings around her face and she hadn’t stopped to retrieve her coat as she escaped The Valeria. She had however, fled with the pearls, an oversight Cesar wouldn’t forget either.

The car turned at the corner, and she stepped out of the alleyway and quick walked down the street. The sun had begun to turn the day dismal and gray, the sky overcast with the pallor of death. (I use a metaphor here, as well a specific sight) Rain spit upon her skin, and a cruel wind licked through her soggy, ruined dress. (Touch) The rain had stirred the dank smells of dirt and rot from the alleyways, (Smell) and she could still taste the tinny rinse of blood in her mouth from where Cesar slapped her. (Taste)

 

 

I’m trying to create a sense of desperation, so I use words like:  Dribbling, dismal, gray, pallor of death, spit, cruel, licked through her, soggy, ruined, dank smells, rot, tinny rinse of blood.

 

 

There are two different kinds of description: Static and Active.  Static description is when you want to stop for a moment and look at something, take a snapshot, so to speak, so that the reader will notice it.

 

Here’s a passage from Duchess:

 

“Darling, you look smashing.” Dash emerged from his bedroom into their shared sitting quarters in the Taft hotel, holding a highball of something amber, the glass catching the glamour of the room. Gold brocade sofas, dark rose velvet chairs, a white marble fireplace, an enormous bouquet of yellow and white roses in the center of the dining table, under the dripping chandelier of teardrop crystals. New York City certainly knew how to welcome a prodigal in style. Except, well, her studio bio, the one printed in Photoplay hailed her from a small farm in Kansas.

Some days, she longed for it to be true.

 

Active Description has the character moving through the scene as it is described.

 

This is from Baroness:

 

Rosie: Paris 1923

 

Rosie and Dash walked home along the Seine, Notre Dame Cathedral shining against the night, the stars above the bright lights of a grand performance.

Accordion and banjo music floated out from the cafés as they walked up the Rue du Cardinal Lemoine, the music mixing with the murmuring of voices of those dining on outdoor terraces. (Sound)  The moon came out to join them and hung low, peeking between the greening linden trees, the redolence of spring twining toward the blackened river. (Smell)

 

They laughed, and Rosie felt Dash slip his hand into hers. Warm and strong, he wove his fingers through hers and tucked her close to him.  (Touch)

 

 

See how the description is woven through the scene?  This type of description is used when you don’t need to take a “snapshot” but rather want to simply weave the description for emotional effect through the scene.

 

Next week, we’ll be diving into Static description and how to build that powerful “snapshot.” BUT, if you’d like an in-depth class on description, check out our Storyworld video series!

 

Have a great writing week!

Go! Write Something Brilliant!