Yesterday, I told you the story of Darla, and how she showed us 2 of the four layers of emotions. Today, let’s talk about the final two layers.
Just as a review:
- The first layer of writing emotions is simply that surface emotion – the name of the emotion.
- The sectond layer is called: Just Under the Skin Layer. This layer names the emotion and pairs it with a physical response.
But let’s go deeper:
Sweat dribbled down her brow. She gripped the seats with whitened hands. She practiced early labor breathing. Even if I hadn’t heard her on the phone, seeing her actions, I would have gotten it. I don’t need to know the emotion to know she afraid.
The next layer is simply the physical response only. I call it the Touching the Heart Layer. It’s where the reader says, “I have so been there.” The reader sees the behavior, or physical action, and the physicality of it reminds them of when they were in the character’s exact place.
Here’s some phrases an author might use that are simply physical:
- Her pulse ratcheted to high. (fear)
- Her breath caught. (surprise)
- She swallowed hard, her throat parched. (dread)
- Her skin prickled at his touch. (creeped out)
- Fire streaked through her, right to her toes. (desire)
We’re deeper into the character because we aren’t told what emotion to equate with the sense, but rather are left to experience the sense and apply our own experience and emotions to it. We have to dig around our heart to decide what emotions that might be, and when we find it, we understand on that heart level what the character is going through. You know I felt sorry for Darla when she began her pre-labor breathing.
****This is where a lot of authors stop. They have connected with their readers hearts, made them feel what their characters feel, and that’s their goal.
But there is another layer, one that goes even deeper, one that makes us connect with the character, an almost spiritual, definitely life-changing connection.
And that layer is called Soul-Deep. It’s the use of Action, Metaphor, and other Characters to convey emotions. It’s the heart of showing.
Let’s look at Darla on the plane again.
She had a book. A Fear of Flying book. She takes it out. Clutches it herself, and then almost frantically shoves it back into the bag. Then, after wiping her hands on her pants, breathing out a few times, staring out the window, she grabs it again, and this time opens it, tearing off the highlighter top with her teeth and going to town, marking up the book, as if it holds the key to surviving the next two hours. The book is hope and promise and victory and I saw in my mind’s eye a two year old clutching his blanket, trembling and alone in the middle of the night in his crib.
Don’t you feel sorry for her?
So, let’s write it in her pov.
She didn’t need the book. Didn’t need…okay, maybe she’d just take it out and hold it. She didn’t want it get lost, maybe left behind. She pressed it to her chest, stared out the window at the airplanes, like birds – safer than cars, the book said – moving around the shiny tarmac. Clear blue skies. A perfect day for flying.
She put the book back in the bag. Shoved it deep. Zipped up the bag. Really, it wasn’t like it was a security blanket, or that she was a toddler. Across from her, a woman with a walkman looked away – Darla knew she’d been staring.
She blew out a breath. Rubbed her greasy palms on her pants. Maybe she should call her father – again. A voice came over the loudspeaker. She tried to listen, but lost the first half of the announcement. What if it if was her flight, what if she was left –
She unzipped the pack and wrestled out the book. Opened it. There – “Preboarding, what to expect at the gate.”
Had she read that chapter? She pulled out the highlighter, held the cap in her mouth and began to underline. Probably she’d just keep the book out.
~ We never mention that she’s afraid. But we see it in her greasy palms, and breathing – there’s the touch the heart layer, but most of all we get in her skin through the symbolism and action of needing the book like a security blanket. In the end the fear wins.
~ We don’t just feel her pain in our hearts, we’ve been there, wanting to defeat something, and not able to. We’ve connected with her on a spiritual level, one of deep understanding. Because we understand the metaphor.
~ Gary Smalley calls it a “word picture” – and tells married couples to use it as they try and communicate. When people can connect to a word picture, they can connect to the emotions we are trying to covey. And when they connect, that’s what is going to glue your reader to the page.
Truth: Emotional writing is all about drawing your reader into the heart of the character by SHOWING them what the emotion looks and feels like, not telling them how to fee.
Dare: Can you write the scene without naming the emotion? It’s a good exercise – give it a try.
Next week, I’ll show you how to build in this layer. Have a great week!
Susie May