“I’d thought she’d never get here.”

Sally shot me a look as she sat down on the Adirondack chair next to me.  She eyed me warily. “Were you talking to me?”

“No. Why would you think that?” I paused, looked away. “She’s so paranoid.”

“Are you schizophrenic?” She raised an eyebrow.  “I’m sitting right here.”

“Sheesh, touchy,” I said softly. Then, “What are you talking about?  How are you?”  I smiled.

She stared at me like I’d turned purple.  I laughed. “I was internal monologueing.”

“Out loud?”

“So you could hear it.”

“Please tell me that’s not what you really think.  I don’t mean to be late –“

“Calm down, Sally, it was just for teaching purposes. But if you were reading that, it would certainly add a bit of tension to the scene, right?”

“I know I feel  a little tense.”

“I laughed.  I just wanted to touch one last time on Dialogue before we started talking about showing and telling next month.  It’s hard to know how to use Internal Monologue and Tone of Voice for maximum impact, so I thought I would try and explain.

“Internal monologue is about what the POV character is thinking – wishing they could say, but can’t.”

“Or shouldn’t,” she said, sipping her coffee.

“Right.  It’s the secrets they really can’t put on the page, or the voices in their head that are reminding them of past conversations.

“Internal monologue can also act at the motivator for the next thing that comes out of their mouth.  If your character is going to stay or do something that the reader might not agree with, give them a  good reason to do so by adding in a line of internal monologue.  Then, your reader will get behind them, even if they don’t agree with them.”

“Like if my internal monologue went something like, sheesh, if she said one more thing she might just get up and walk away.”

“Right.  But please, don’t.  Instead, ask yourself, What is my character thinking right now, and how does it influence what he/she says next?  Remember, when you’re in Deep POV, your internal monologue should be in third person, past tense (if your story is in past tense).

“The answer to that question will influence not only what they say next, but how they say it.  In other words, it may mean you need to interject a tone of voice. In a perfect world, an author should never have to really use a tone of voice because the words speak for themselves. However, when your character raises or lowers their voice, perhaps they snap at someone or even shout, then that may call for designation.

“Be very frugal with your use of tone of voice, and it will carry great impact.”

“Okay,” she whispered. Winked.

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, just do me this favor. Remember the rhythm of dialogue:  Goal – Dialogue – Interpretation – Reaction – Goal.

“When you write dialogue, if you start with the Action Objectives and Goals of your character, and follow the rhythm of interpretation, reaction and goal, then you will write dialogue that makes sense as well as increase the conflict. Don’t forget to put in some powerful zingers, and correctly use internal monologue and tone of voice sparingly. Finally, backdrop it all with body language and meaningful action that symbolizes the characters feelings, desires or unspoken words.

“Once you’ve done that, take a look at the entire passage. What is the real meaning behind what they are saying? How can you enhance it, ever so slightly, to draw out the meaning?  Can you add a tone of voice – or perhaps even delete dialogue and simply let the meaningful action speak for itself? Don’t highlight it or it will feel over the top, as if you are hitting the reader over the head. Keep it light, simple and yet profound.  This is how you will create powerful subtexted dialogue.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

“She said, right before her teacher dumped her smoothie in her lap.”

Truth: Internal Monologue, used correctly, and Tone of Voice, used sparingly, can add depth to your dialogue. 

Dare:  After you’re finished, review your passage.  Ask: What is the real meaning behind what they are saying? Can you enhance it through tone of voice, meaningful action or even internal dialogue?  This will help you create subtexted dialogue.

Tomorrow, in Quick Skills, we’re hosting a guest blog from the Editor at Splickety magazine to talk about how to write powerful Flash Fiction! Stop back!

Happy Writing!

Susie May

P.S. By the way, Don’t miss the MBT/Splickety Flashblog special! If you sign up for the daily Flashblog reminder in your email box, you receive a FREE DIGITAL COPY of Splickety Magazine! Subscribe here!

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