Don’t Be Afraid

Last month as I fast drafted my current WIP, I realized I had this tension in my gut.

What was going on?

Yea, it’s tough to hammer out a first draft on a tight deadline but I was pleased with my progress. I wasn’t behind schedule. Though the story wasn’t really popping.

Hmm… the tension?

I concluded I was actually afraid of my story.

We talk about being afraid of the blank page, but it’s really being afraid of the story.

Was I heading in the right direction?

Was the tension sustainable?

Did I even like this story?

Would my readers?

As the questions rose, I knew there were other things missing.

Was my setting right? Did I have the right research for my 1930s timeline?

How  much of my heroine’s past really played into the story?

I was tense over what I didn’t know. And the fact I was sure I didn’t know it.

Makes perfect sense right?

A lot of times I get tripped up because I know that I know that I don’t know details and tidbits that would make my story deeper and richer.

When writing The Wedding Dress, I did a lot of research on Birmingham. In the process, I came across the convict leasing program.

When I decided to use it in the story, assigning it as a justice issue for my 1912 heroine, it made her more passionate and layered than if I’d left it out.

Plus, I could bring to light the injustice of the era.

And I got to write this great paragraph:

“The white guards talked and joked while the men of color swung axes and hammers against the hard concrete. Emily lowered her gaze. It must be back-breaking, near impossible, to break up what had been set and hardened with time in this city.”

See the metaphor? All from research.

So when I’m in crunch mode and crisis, I start to think, “I need more research.”

I’ll panic with, “I need to read more books by all the writers in the whole world who are better than me so I can writer better books myself and ahhh!”

Yea, it’s stupid. It’s fear.

It’s being afraid of the story.

Some of you are afraid of the story. Afraid to let go.

You won’t submit to an editor or agent.

You won’t let a writer friend read it.

Maybe you keep revising and revising.

Maybe you’re afraid to say, “This book is done. I need to move on to another book.”

The story has a life of it’s own, trust me I know. A will, a force that keeps us awake at night.

But face your fears. Don’t be afraid of the story, or what changes might come about.

Be of good courage. And go write something brilliant!