by Christina Miller, @CLMillerbooks

I believe rambling is a major cause of manuscript rejections.

When I sensed the Lord leading me to write an article about rambling in novels, I wondered if I could write 600 words on the topic without rambling. 

That remains to be seen.

Either way, rambling can mean death to our dream of publishing a novel. As a freelance editor, I find at least a little in nearly every manuscript I contract. The problem is twofold. First, the reader begins to skim and might soon put the book down. Second, it reveals a problem within the scene.

I credit the great Donald Maass with breaking me of this dream-killing habit in my own writing years ago as he flipped pages of my unpublished manuscript and said, “You ramble here. And here. And here. Stop it.”

Looking over my manuscript later, I saw what he was talking about. And I learned three ways to cut rambling from my work:

1. Know where you’re going. When my husband and I left for our honeymoon, we started rambling through the South, no destination in mind. We simply wanted to mosey around, explore antebellum architecture and museums, and eat great southern food. Rambling made a fantastic honeymoon. But if we don’t know where we’re going in a scene, we’ll lose the reader and kill the novel. Solution: before writing a new scene, think about its ending hook. Brainstorm new information, a new problem/obstacle, or an unexpected event to use as the scene-end hook. Set it up during the scene like a traveler who knows where she’s going. 

2. Be brutal and cut clutter. It’s easy to ramble about the setting, emotions that haven’t changed, and meaningless conversations with walk-on characters, like wait staff. Deleting these unnecessary words simplifies and beautifies our manuscripts the same way decluttering our homes makes the rooms streamlined and beautiful. I often catch myself skimming social niceties like introductions, apologies, and greetings. Solution: cut them to the bone. Better yet, delete them unless they contain tension. If we must mention the niceties to move the story along, we can take out the dialogue and merely say: 

My grandson Eugene introduced his new wife, Martha, to the family.  

3. Turn up the heat. Readers like the fire of jealousy, the fierceness of a mother defending her child, the fury of betrayal. On the other hand, low-temperature scenes tend to ramble as we add filler material to meet our chapter page count. This rambling makes the reader’s mind wander, and before long, the half-read book lands in the Goodwill bag. Solution: look for ways to add tension, drama, and emotion to ordinary situations, such as ramping up characters’ responses to other people in the room. For example, we could increase the tension when Eugene introduces his new wife, Martha, like this: 

My grandson Eugene, still wearing his golf shirt and pants from yesterday, glanced around the patio at our extended family. “Mama, Daddy, Mamaw—everybody—this is Martha. We eloped last night.”

Silence. Dead silence. 

Glancing around, Eugene took a tentative step toward thirteen-year-old Sadie. “She’s your new mama, princess.”

Sadie’s face turned redder than Martha’s floozy lipstick, looking every bit like her great-grandfather, bless his soul, when he got riled. She sprinted toward her father and shoved him into the pool, expensive wallet, phone, fancy Apple Watch, and all. “She’s not my mama. She’s just the babysitter, and she’ll never be anything else!” 

How about you? Have you noticed rambling in your books, as I did in mine? If so, how did you fix it?

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Embracing His Past

Stunned to learn he has an adult son, widower Harrison Mitchell’s eager to track him down and build a relationship. But when he uproots his life and moves to Natchez, Mississippi, he’s hit with another surprise: his new boss, Anise Armstrong, is his son’s adoptive mother. Now he must win her trust to prove he deserves to be a father and grandfather … and possibly a husband.\

Author Christina Miller’s idea of a perfect day involves a southern beach, a stack of books, and a glass of sweet tea. Years ago, she left her job as an RN to work in the church her husband pastors. She also became a writer—and sometimes she gets to write on the beach. Christina is a Love Inspired author, Bethany Global University (Bloomington, Minnesota) graduate with degrees in theology and missiology, church secretary, worship leader, and children’s ministry teacher. She has owned and operated Mentor’s Pen Editorial Services (mentorspen@gmail.com) for the past fourteen years, specializing in fiction editing. When she doesn’t have her nose in a book or her toes in the sand, you might catch her visiting an antebellum mansion, opening her early-American home for Dinner Church, or teaching at a women’s conference. Christina lives on her family farm with her husband of thirty-four years.