Early on we learn conflict makes a great story. Conflict elicits emotion. Tension is necessary to keep the story flowing and the readers turning pages.

In romance, it’s easy to put the hero and heroine in conflict with each other. They are the main players, the key figures on the stage and well, why not have them at opposite goals, fighting, arguing, hating one another.

Donald Maass says, “He’s hot, she’s hot, but they can’t stand each other.”

Well, true, that does make for a good story. But in our ameturish hands, a fighting hero and heroine can come across snarky, mean, petty and well, too stupid to live.

What we need to demonstrate is WHY the hero and heroine belong together. What is it about her that he loves? Why does she need him?

Let’s look at Luke and Lorelei from Gilmore Girls. He’s a grumpy diner owner. She’s a quippy inn keeper with a daughter. He’s working class. She was a debutant. They are opposites. She challenges him. He challenges her. They pull each other out of their comfort zones. They call each other’s bluff and we like it.

But Luke and Lorelei are soul mates. They have the same core and essence. Luke and Lorelei are both outspoken, independent and fierce about they way they want to live their lives. She’s antagonistic with her family. He’s sentimental about his. Luke hates the town politics. Lorelei loves everything about Stars Hollow. They are best friends. Luke is cemented in his ways, in the diner and in the town. And so is Lorelei.

Of your hero and heroine, dig deeper and find out what they have in common, what makes their hearts connect. Why do they belong together?

This is the core of every romantic relationship. Whether the story is straight up romance or one with romantic elements, we must convince the reader these two belong together! Convince the reader there is no one for Harry but Sally.

That’s not to say there is no conflict. Or tension. Or that your love birds are not direct opposites.

In the movie The Proposal, Drew and Margaret are both ambitious, book loving editors. She’s his boss. He does everything she wants in order to one day become an editor in his own right. Even if he has to fake loving her. He’s sarcastic. She’s bossy. But he has one thing she doesn’t. Family. A hometown. Roots. He’s comfortable in his life. She’s terrified of hers. But Drew gets her. He doesn’t let her get away with her arrogance. He calls her out on her stuff. He doesn’t coddle her. Margaret eventually opens up to him and realizes she cannot force this endearing man to marry her. She chooses right and leaves town. And we love them both for it.

In my recent book, Dining with Joy, Joy Ballard is a cooking show host who cannot cook. Enter the hero, Luke Redmond, a Manhattan restauranteur by way of Oklahoma. When he joins Joy’s show, he believes they are a kindred spirit. Joy tries to hid her little flaw, but because Luke can really see her, he eventually figures out her secret. At first, they need each other in a usery kind of way. She needs him to help her do the show and keep her secret. He needs her to help him rebuild his foodie reputation after loosing his Manhattan restaurant. But it becomes about more. Luke is draw to her determination, to her family and her wit. Joy is fascinated by his strength and peace. Like Luke and Lorelei, they don’t let each other pull punches. They speak the truth to each other without hesitation.

Okay, so where are you with your characters? Are they too much the same? Or do they argue and fight all the time and no one, including you, can figure out why they are breathing the same air?

Here are a few things you can do to help create the essence of your hero and heroine:

What about their personalities are alike? What is different but complimentary? List character and personality traits that they have in common, but can cause conflict. What is the story goal for each of them? How do they tie together? Is there an object or sentiment to use as a metaphor that ties them together? Dig into their work, homes, town, family and background to find common threads. How has past loves disappointed or delivered? What characteristics does he have that she admires? What makes him think the day isn’t right without seeing her? What issues do they  call each other on? How do they challenge each other? Don’t let your hero and heroine cover for or enable each other.

Next create a scenario where they have to work together. As that plot line unfolds, you’ll see their opposite traits began to gel and cause them to succeed, and thus, fall in love!

Does this help? Good. Now get writing!