Wow, I’ll tell you we have some excellent writers among us! I really loved the entries I received – so many just captured their story world with such active description they pulled me right in. It was so hard to choose! Here’s a couple of my favorites:
The minute she stepped onto the beach, hot sand filtered into her shoes. The faint scent of coconut tanning oil carried on the scorched breeze. Sweat trickled down her ribcage. A gorgeous hunk of a man jogged around the edge of the lake. Talk about eye candy. Too bad she was on the career advancement diet. No sweets for her
When I stepped out of my dressing room into the dim hallway, I should have heard death’s gentle taunting. I should have seen it hovering in the glow of the flickering lights. I should have felt its talons pulling me closer to the abyss.
Instead, I rushed through the hall toward the campus television studio, my heels clicking on the tile like a ticking time bomb.
I pulled out my compact mirror and checked my make-up once more. The intoxicating aroma of grease-laden pastries wafted my way, tantalizing my taste buds. Mental note: Find the Einstein who put the breakfast buffet between my dressing room and the green room and have him lobotomized.
And here’s the winner of the StoryWorld entry this week! I loved the use of the precise nouns, and a couple of well-placed, vivid verbs that take you from feeling festive, to knowing there is something deeply wrong. Thanks Roxanne for your scene!
The colored lights and festival atmosphere had charmed April when she’d first arrived. She loved strolling among the cafés, boutiques, street vendors, and hotels that lined the shallow, murky water. Anonymous in the crowd of tourists, Latinos, and cowboys, who flooded the riverbanks seeking entertainment. No one called her name. No one needed more than she had to give.
But the sultry afternoon heat drove her into one of the air-conditioned restaurants. In the evenings, she sipped margaritas and sat beneath the bright umbrellas at tiny, wrought-iron tables next to the river, listening to Mariachis dressed in traditional black, short jackets and tight pants. The musicians filled the air with the rich sounds of their vihuelas, or round-backed guitars, along with their sweet violins and brilliant trumpets.
Yet, now that she worked on the River Walk night after night, the place had lost its allure. Tonight, the carnival atmosphere wearied her.
Roxanne will be getting her choice of a SMW or RH book.
Thank you to all who sent in such wonderfully vivid scenes. Getting that storyworld set is essential in order to take the next step – the inciting incident! We’ll be talking about how to choose the best inciting incident for your hero to jump start him on the journey. We’ll also talk about how this fits into the classic “Heroes Journey” structure, and some options for story structure. Have a fabulous weekend!